Sweet Desires

2009-08-25T22:49:00.003+08:00

Am in my new home now =). Hse warming went on successfully at 4am last Mon. I love my new home, simple and nice, even though its only 2 rooms. I know my parents have something here that they never had in my previous home, peace. Now, they dun have to worry about how they are gonna make ends meet every month. They can have a peaceful sleep every night and i have been having good sleep too ever since i shifted. Bf is surpised by that =). Anyway, frens are coming over on Sat to my hse for housewarming after which we are gonna catch Kandasamy. Cant wait to see all of them =). Meanwhile bf is looking for a job. Am hoping hard that he should get it soon. On a random note, my bd is abt 11/2 mths away. Will be 22. Am getting old =(. Haiz but am looking forward to getting many many presents =)

2009-08-09T20:52:00.002+08:00

Ok ok super good news... Hse warming is next Mon!!! 17 Aug...YIPEE =). The next entry i will be writing will be in my new hse; in my own room. Other than that, nothing much to update just that i need to save money for the deepavali expenses but i dun see myself saving successfully. Haiz. But everything seems to be on the bright side now. I want this peaceful feeling and happiness to last always...

2009-08-01T10:27:00.003+08:00

Bf's 21st went well last Sat.. It was so much fun wif his frens... they had a mini drinking session in which his bro and few others got very high and did some crazy stuff which they pretty much didnt remember the next day. Bf stopped drinking after he felt tipsy...ahaha.. nevertheless, it turned out well and we only left the place arnd 7 plus in the morning.

Spent the whole day wif him and we caught hangover in yishun. It was a very funny movie. Both of us were super tired when we got home.

Wed was his bro's 26th bd. Went for dinner wif him and frens at Lau Par Sat. Cake wasnt that good as it appeared but then again, all of us enjoyed dinner.

Seven months has flown by and im still madly in love wif u... Being in ur arms, that moment is wad i call heaven.. I love u baby...Happy anniversary...

2009-07-24T13:45:00.003+08:00

Had a very troubled sleep last night. Bf is very pissed wif his frens, at least he thought they were till lately. His bbq is to be held tmr at Pasir Ris. Even now, we dun have a fix plan yet since each one is either not answering or coming up wif f uped lame excuses to not turn up. I have so much to say but i dun know where to start. Overall, they are just lacking basic manners, are not coorperative and dun even fit the word. friendship.

Either ways i know that after this, alot of things will change, the way he looks at him. And now i know who i can really rely on if i ever wanna plan something for him ever again. For now am just keeping my fingers crossed that things shouldnt turn out so bad tmr.

2009-07-16T12:02:00.002+08:00

Bf 21st bd went well in the end despite some hurdles on the way. I knew that he was upset when his sibilings couldnt be there wif him to celebrate. I dun wish to comment on that one. Seeing him disappointed made me very sad as i really wanted to give him a perfect 21st. But at the end os the day, he did have a perfect 21st wif people who cared for me and him and made their presense there, not forgetting to mention siva and haruna. Wif out their help, i wouldnt have been able to handle everything myself.

Les and Alvin joined us too for the dinner. Heard many updates from them like both my classmates being maried and one of them is alrdy expecting a child.

Haru and siva left after dinner. Bf and i went for the boat ride for a quiet time but the tour guide kept talking and talking so a quiet boat ride was impossible. Nevertheless, the scenery was beautiful. 4 of us made our way to crazy elephant after that for a drink. Wads 21st wif out alcohol right? Haha. Bf and i left after a drink since he was very tired and it was late for me too.

Overall, im not sure if the bbq plan for next sat will turn out well. But for now, am keeping my fingers crossed. Pics will only be up in abt a wk's time.

2009-07-15T12:25:00.002+08:00

A Very Happy 21st Birthday Darling! I Love U Many Many! Muacks! =)

2009-07-13T13:14:00.003+08:00

Permed my hair again yesterday but this time wif brown highlighs and my curls start from the top. Plus cut and treatment came up to 200. Bf did highlight too but i dun wish to comment on how shiny his hair looks now. The album colour looks so diff when it appears on the hair. Nevertheless he looks like a punk now and im very commentless abt that. The whole process took abt 10 hours. Unbelievable right? I went to the saloon at 10 on the morning and came out at 8 at night. Bf came after wrk and was falling asleep. Pity him. But brought him to eat seafood after that and it was my treat. Bf took a cab home cause he was toooooo tired. I love my hair even though my parents are not happy. But then again wad do they know abt fashion right? Hehe

Bf is officially turning 21 on Wed and his bd celebrations are to be held next Sat. Am sooo looking forward to this.. After so much of planning, the day is finally gonna be here. Hopefully nothing screws up.

*Saying how much i love u never seems enuff*

2009-07-07T11:05:00.002+08:00

Siva officially turned 21 yesterday. Haru and me planned his bd and despite some complications along the way like bad weather and expensive cab fares we managed to do it =). Meanwhile bf and me had our own quality time together after dinner at Manhattan fish market. Caught a late night movie, I love U man at the cathay. Went for ben and jerry ice cream b4 that. After the movie, we made our way to have supper arnd 2am. Bf was trying his best not to let me sleep but he only succeeded till abt 4 plus. We both dozzed off after that. Went to watch Ice age 3 after that yesterday afternoon. It was a very gd animation. Rushed off for 2 tuitions after that. I was soooo beat when i came home arnd 10. Nevertheless, i really really had so much of fun after so long. =)

Bf's bd is next wed. Looking forward to that and his bd celebrations next next fri. Cant wait.

2009-07-02T10:22:00.002+08:00

Met up wif haru and siva for a little shopping spree and dinner. It was our anniversary yesterday. Time really flies. Bf got me a top after my whining =). Nothing much to update for now. Everything seems to be going on fine, for now....

2009-06-27T19:48:00.002+08:00

Am becoming quite lazy to update my blog these days, and not to mention all my tuitions officially begins from next Mon so that means income is going to come rolling in at last! =)

A number of updates....

1) Caught transformers 2 at city square, JB on thurs. It was a mind-blowing movie, with excellent graphics and effects. Shia is really a HOTTIE. Cant believe he was the same guy from Even Stevens show.

2) Have planned to catch harry potter there too next month plus there is gonna be more shopping!!!

3) Their pizza there is as nice as pizza hut and it is soo much cheaper as low as 5 bucks for a personal pan. Unbelievable.

4) Bought 3 dresses from COAX at harbourfront centre which came to 72 bucks after discount which bf happily paid. And i love all the 3 dresses so much.

5) Renovation in my new hse has started but its gonna take a month for just the basic things to be done. So that means i wont be shifting out on the 10th next mth. Another 1 mth in this mad hse. Am counting down the days when i finally leave.

6) Siva is turning 21 next Mon. Not to mention, have to get 3 presents...

7) Micheal Jackson passed away on June 25th from heart attack. Couldnt believe my ears when got that news. However, everyone believes that it was not a natural death. His doctor who last injected him is currently missing and his body has been send for autopsy. I wouldnt be surprised if it was actually a murder. MJ was truly a music legend and i have never believed any of the rumors that many white people of US came up with. And no one can ever replace this man. I believe that he will always live in the minds of many and will never be forgotten, especially his trademark moonwalk. May he rest in peace.

2009-06-17T21:29:00.003+08:00

Caught up wif Haru and Siva at Vivo yesterday. Went Pizza Hut after that for dinner. Got full after 1 3/4 slices cos had a very filling lunch at New York New York restaurant at Suntec wif bf. We were supposed to check out that place during our 6th mth anni but wanted to go Kenny Rogers instead but we both were too lazy to walk all the way there so just had lunch there. The food was very gd; i had cheesy chicken which i couldnt finish but managed to wif bf help and he had sausage spagetti. Service was good and the ambience was very cosry wif cushions all arnd.

Bf was falling alseep so went Carl's Jr for a milkshake. It was super yummy, one of the best milkshakes ever!!

Am going Msia for a one day trip next wk thurs. We both are gonna catch tranformers 2 over there at cathay city square. Cant wait =)

* I never thought i would ever find some one who can keep me this happy, until i met u*

2009-06-14T19:18:00.002+08:00

Went out wif bf yesterday and had dinner at Sakuntala's at little india. Had butter prawns(yummy) after so long... walked all the way to PS after that to hang out since it was still early for him to go work. Ended up at TCC drinking hot choc and eating potato wedges and choc cake. Since i was too full, ended up puking out half the food and the saddest part was that all the food came up to 70 bucks...Haiz, sad sad. But then again, its only once in a while. Anyways was super tired by the time i got back.

Went for tuition today and am pretty much stuck at hme. Bf is still sleeping, must be very tired that fellow. I miss him. Had a wonderful time wif him after so long yesterday.

Both of my darlings are back from India. Its time to meet them soon.

Cant wait for June holidays to end. Am so bored at home with limited tuition and money. Haiz. 2 more weeks to go.

2009-06-12T18:02:00.002+08:00

Ok since bf successfully got his pay, there was 2 days of shopping. Bf got 2 shirts (chosen by me!!), pierced his chin for jus 3 bucks (unbelievable), and got a new lg viewty fone from me since i upgraded my 2 yr contract. Plus, i opened up a savings acc for him from POSB. Am so proud of myself =). The only thing he has to do now is to start studying. Everything is pretty much settled. Will be taking a look at my new hse probably tmr b4 the renovation starts.

Caught drag me to hell yesterday at Vivo when towards the ending, trhe movie halfway got cut off. Had to badly go to toilet after all the water and by the time i got back, bf was alrdy outside so i missed the ending. Haiz. But i have to say, it was one of the best horror movies i have caught. Good graphics plus the old gyspy lady was freaking disgusting wif too many puke scenes and fake teeth.

It's my fav tuition kid's brithday today. Am planning to get her a bracelet. Miss all my tuition kids.

2009-06-07T12:00:00.002+08:00

Cussie's ROM went well on Thurs at Banana Leaf Apollo. Bride and Groom ended off the solemnisation wif a kiss. Didnt really get a chance to talk to the groom. Pics will only be up after i have shifted hse next mth since my digi cam cables are stuck in one of the boxes. My uncle was giving the f up face to my dad. Typical. My dad was also acting annoying on that day. My family, forever dramatic. Cant wait to get married and leave the hse. It's the only way to freedom. In another 8 yrs time.

Had a South Africa holiday planning wif sis and cussies. But doubt that will happen. Dad will never let me and my sis go overseas even though my sis is 28 alrdy and im 22. Haiz. Mad House and im stuck here. Nevermind, jus another 8 more yrs.......

Meanwhile am super broke till bf gets his pay in abt a wk's time. And to add on, have alot of expenses next mth since its my bf, his bro plus Siva's bd and bf and his bro bd is gonna be taking place together on July 25, organised by me =).

Other than birthdays, my hse warming is on july 10th. Yipee!!! Cant wait to step into my own new home. I miss my TV, phone, MY PRIVACY!!!!!

2009-06-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

Caught terminator salvation wif bf at Vivo yesterday. It was pretty gd, action packed. Just that i urgently had to go toilet and since we were sitting in the middle, bf was not letting me go alone =(. In the end, after 2 hrs, the movie ended and i ran for the toilet.

Bumped into Siva and his colleague at Carl's Jr.

Am down wif bad tummy pain, eyes still red and bad cough. Haiz. Am trying my best to recover by Thurs. I dun wanna look like a sick chicken.

Bf puts up wif my nagging and does not even say a word. I feel so evil at times for doing that. But im terribly sorry for wadever i do to hurt him at times. He is really a wonderful guy and im lucky to have him in my life. Seriously.

2009-05-31T23:35:00.005+08:00

Caught Night at the museum 2 wif bf on Fri. I must say, it was one of those rare movies where the second part was as gd as the first, in fact better. Spend abt 220 on Sat in Little India, shopping for clothes and accessories for the ROM on Thurs.My earrings alone came up to 50. Haiz. In fact, my accessories costed more than my clothes. Rather than looking grand like everyone on that day, i wanna look elegant so i picked something not too shiny or gordy. Now im super broke wif just about 5 bucks in my wallet =(. On a happier note, bf is bringing me out to watch Terminator tmr. Its our 5th month anniversary =).

Having settled down on a job now, be is gonna enrol and start studying soon. He has a long way to go before we can settle down. Even then, im confident that things will work out and i can see us going a long way.

This 5 months have been the best for me, despite the small bickerings we have at times. I love u baby, happy anniversary. Looking forward for more to come =)

2009-05-29T11:44:00.006+08:00

It was Basheer's 26th bd on Tue, the day b4 my exams which i screwed up a little by leaving out one essay qn. Anyways, his gf had planned a surprise bd thingy at a restaurant at Arab street. Bf and me met up first and got him a Davidoff perfume and then proceeded to meet his brother and rengaraj and bugis. After they shopped for their stuff, we arrived there at abt 6.30. Due to some screwups in the middle, the bd boy arrived only at 8 and they were closing at arnd 8.30.

Overall, it was really fun. Everyone opened up and talked to me and there was alot of pic time plus food which none of us could finish. Finally, the bd ended wif hugs and thanks from everyone. I rushed back to study, bf went to work, sulking and the rest proceeded to East Coast.

Here come Pic time.....=)

2009-05-29T00:30:00.005+08:00

Ok too many updates waiting in line....

1) Haruna left for India yesterday and will ne back on june 13th. Am missing her so much. Actually i really miss all my frens; rosey, siva, les, haruna, some of my skool mates. Even though my circle of frens are small, they are the best one can ever have =)

2) Went shopping wif bf today and he ended up getting me a pressed powder, cammomile make up remover and concealer from body shop. I love him =). Plus body shop is having 10% discount soo yipee!!! But the sad part is, im on the verge of becoming broke. I still have a major shopping to do on Sat for the ROM.

3) Spent 1 hr in Metro after that trying on one shoe after another and finally got myself a heels for 40 plus. The salesgirl plus my bf were super patient wif me for that one hour. Somebody please shoot me. But i love my new heels!!!

4) Almost all my tuition kids, except for 2 did badly for their exams. Lazy bums. I dun know whether to knock them or myself against the wall. But they are soo gonna feel extra pressure from me after this. I have told all of them to prepare themselves mentally and physically and have started by giving them soo much of homework and they dare not complain. Im so proud of myself =)

5) Went East Coast wif bf plus rengaraj, laxman, his sister plus her bf for cycling last Fri. I did all the cycling wif bf jus directing the bicycle and applying brake. Not to mention, he kept knocking the bicycle against the tree and i was praying so hard that i should be alive to make it home. Overall, It was a gd exercise though. Went for dinner after that at Mac.

6) Got up at 4 plus in the morning the next day and went to Msia for a short trip of 2 days. It was soo fun!!! Had a great time wif my 2 cussies. We shopped at the shopping mall near our hotel when both our parents went temple at night. Haha. Had dinner in Kenny Rogers where the food was bland and the soup was too salty. Their cups were sooo small. Bad service. Went for fish spa after that. It was sooo ticklish when the fishes kept nibbling on our feet. Haha. Bought bf a cap, chosen by my cousins. Overall, i had a great time and the room that we stayed in was a suite. It was heaven =)

7) Finally comes pic time =)

2009-05-17T20:32:00.002+08:00

Bf and me Met up wif Haruna and Siva for a mini outing. Caught angels and demons at Kallang b4 heading to our usual place. Had loads of fun. Movie was quite gd, would give it a 6-7 stars.

Couldnt believe that Ewan Mcgregor was the baddie, haiz such a hottie, but bf guessed that he was the bad guy, withink like fifteen mins after the movie started.

Anyways, reached home at arnd 10 plus feeling suoer tired and poor poor bf had to drag himself to work, wonder how he managed though.

Am going M'sia on Sat and Sun. Am really looking forward to it as it will be our so called last family outing b4 cussie gets married in a few wks time

Wonder if she will come along wif her hubby next yr for all these family outings. He didnt look too outgoing to me, but oh well first impressions may be wrong. I hope.

Thank god i have roaming so will be able to contact bf in the 2 days.

Haruna will be leaving for india on the 28th, day after my exams. Am gonna miss her so bad.

On a random note, im feeling very hungry and parents are nt back wif my dinner yet.

I LOVE THIS PIC!!!! =)

2009-05-11T01:12:00.003+08:00

It was Mother's Day Last Sun. Went for dinner wif aunt and family on Sat evening. Have to say, i ate alot =( The seafood, satay, rojak...that was really alot of food. On a happier note, cussie is getting married on June 4th. In jus 3 wks.. which means i gotta go get my clothes and accessories soon.. which is gonna come up to 100 plus or more...

My next exam is in 3 wks time...haiz..have been preparing for it... just wanna get it over it i guess..

Went over to his place on fri, played cards, monopoly and watched a movie b4 leaving his hse. His grandma made me eat and eat and eat. She is such a sweetheart. His bed is sooo comfy, now only i understand why he is able to sleep for hours and hours..haha

Bf loves his new job, jus that he gets bored easily once his work is done.. Well atleast, one worry is gone. We havent really been spending much of a lonely, quality time together. I know that it bothers him alot even though he doesnt say much to me. Wad am i to do when exams are coming for my tuition kids and im running high and low for tuition every day now? But i have promised him that i will set aside for him a whole day this wk...=)

*My heart grows wif love for u as each day goes by*

2009-05-08T13:54:00.003+08:00

Updates from the past few days...

1) Bf has started working in subway from tue. Yes yes, he got the job =). Permanent night shift, so i guess there will be time to meet up wif him, provided he wakes up early and not just in time for work. He has to alter his sleeping pattern, but im not sure if that will happen...so ya

2) Watched wolverine in Westmall, hugh jackman's biceps and triceps are super big!!!! Nice movie overall.

3) Might be shifting in on July 1st. Yipee yipee

4) Tuition kids are driving me nuts.. god help them for their exams.

5) Have started wearing coloured lens, brown ones. Its nice but am still getting used to it.

6) Am in bf hse right now, doing my blog. He keeps scratching me.. gotta go

2009-05-05T00:21:00.002+08:00

Met bf on Sun at westmall and had dinner at Subway where we ran into 2 of his frens; one of them was a hottie wif a bitchy gf. Hiaz, it happens. Anyways we walked arnd the mall and spent some quality time together and when i saw him walk into subway, i felt a rush of emotions; happiness, love and i realised that i missed him so much after not seeing him for the past few days. I jus wanted to give him a big hug and not let go, haha.

I guess it has come to a point that i need him in my life and its gonna be almost impossible wif out him by my side.

Anyways as for today, have been cranky since morning since Ashwin started his whining at 8 plus in the morning. To make it worse, my monthly hormonal changes made it worse and i ended up shouting at all my tuition kids today. Bf has been having bad temper lately, its worrying me.

Am stuck doing my essay qns and waiting for bf to go his fren's place after his booze party. Am praying so hard for his interview to go well tmr morning =)

* U make my heart go wild*

2009-05-03T00:25:00.000+08:00

Today was a much better day... went for massage at northpoint which costed me fifty bucks for 45 mins... that lady massaged my whole back, head and neck... it was fuckin painful at some points but managed to bear wif it... the sales lady was then promoting some package to me.. which costs 200 plus for 6 sessions... ya like im gonna spend money every mth on massage?

And when i told her nicely that i will consider this offer, she was being adamant and persistent. Ya, wth right? and she gave me the fucked up face in the end and was like, surely u will come back here one day and by then its too late for offers...ya like im gonna go back there... bitch

Bf got called for another interview on Mon. Am so keeping my fingers crossed on this one since the manager is an indian.

He is out in renga raj hse, drinking while im stuck at home preparing essay qns for my exam. Haiz, so unfair.

I miss him so so much. After our mini war episode yesterday, i realised that its gonnna be very very very hard wif out him in my life.

*I love u baby and u are the best bf ever.. despite my whinings and complains at times, let me tell u this, no one has ever given me this much happiness in my life before. U are the best bf ever and dun ever doubt yourself. I love u*

2009-05-01T22:28:00.002+08:00

Its my 4th month anniversary today.. thought of so many nice and sweet things to write today in my blog yesterday night. However, when i woke up today morning, things were diff. I desperately need a gd night's sleep and i have come to realise that as long as im gonna be stuck in this hse, its never gonna be possible.

Sleep deprivation is making me a very moody, cranky and a person of few words these days. Things arent going that well between me and him. I feel like im the cause at times.

As for today, bf is too busy wif his urumee that he hasnt msg or call since 12 plus in the afternoon. First time he is doing this. No matter how busy he is, he always makes time and sends me atleast one msg. I guess things change as time goes by. As uncertainity grips my heart very tightly, im ending off this post wif tears in my eyes.

So much for a 4 mth anniversary.

2009-04-29T23:00:00.004+08:00

Ok have not been updating lately, been too busy wif skool stuff, tuition, plus lack of sleep is making me a zombie =(

1) There was a super huge fight that just broke out in my family. Haiz. Pretty sad ah? Am waiting for the police to come knocking on the door.

2) Am shifting out by July. Hopefully it doesnt clash wif bf bd party. But Woohooo!!!! Cant wait

3) Im suffering from sleeping disorder.. i wake up in the middle of the night...have changed my pillow today. Hopefully i have a gd night's sleep. I really need it...

4) And the biggest update of all, met Rosey, Haru and Siva last sat for bowling. Had lunch at Fish and Co, after so long. Had grilled salmon wif rice, yummy yummy! Walked arnd Bugis, rosey left and we 4 love birds made our way to kallang leisure park for bowling. I got second in place =). Siva was the winner. Relaxed at coffee bean after that. Had to take a cab back from bedok as it was super late.... but i have to mention that, i had the best time ever =)

2009-04-21T22:48:00.005+08:00

Tuitions are tiring me out..exams are coming... im stressed out when ever i see my tuitions kids getting simple sums wrong and forgetting wad i have taught them.. but surprisingly, they seem to be getting harder qns correct. But i have to say that i have wonderful tuition kids, all 8 of them are sweet in their own way. They make me laugh at times..haha..

One of my tuition kid's 5 yrs old brother has a major crush on me. Today he asked his mum if he could give me a kiss in my cheeks..Hahahaha.. i was laughing my ass out when i heard that... he so sooo cute and chubby. He is gonna turn out to be a hottie when he grows up...

Bf went for another interview at Subway today..haiz.. getting a job these days is so fucking hard, not to mention the majority of them is taken up by the popular race of Singapore.

Meanwhile, we both shared a choc sundae at Gelare today, it was heavenly =)

Meeting my frens on Sat..cant wait.. it will be a major destresser =)

*I love u baby. U are such a sweetheart*

2009-04-19T11:30:00.007+08:00

Yesterday began out sucky wif me out of my bed with a terrible headache, thx to my mum who woke me up several times at the night. Was stuck wif 2 tuition and had to go get tickets for the movie in the morning.. went Mac to have breakfast wif my cussin where the most unfortunate thing happen. Ice milo spilled all over my 3/4s and thankfully my aunt's place was so nearby.. so took a shower there and went for my 2 tuitions... since i was late, i had to take a cab which came to 15 bucks...haiz

Rushed home got ready and went to meet bf and gang at yishun. Ayan Movie was not bad... fight scenes were good.. shots in Africa were good... Went for dinner after that.. it was really fun this time, everyone in the group opened up and talked to me.... even his fren renga raj and his gf... in fact she is the only gal in the group i have spoken to this much. There were laughs, jokes, despite me having headaches, i was having so much of fun.

And there was foto time finally....

Today was Avinash 1st bd..held at a CC near my place. The food and cake was yummy. Sis and second cousin talked to bf.. first cousin never spoke to me or him at all... her comments will probably be kept to herself or shared wif her sis which i cant really be bothered about.

Dad was embarrasing me infront of him, pushing me to go overseas. Usual. He does that always in front of people. Sometimes i think that he does that purposely or something. Was mood out after that. Treated myself to blueberry cheesecake at the cafe below the CC which tasted like some hard cheese and flour mixed together, except for the blueberry coating at the top.

Dad hinted to me to get someone who is as educated as me and all when i get married. To sum it up, tuition kid's father gave comments about me using hp in class when all i did was jus to ans 2 simple calls and say that im teaching tuition and kept the conversation short and sweet. so from now on, im not gonna even touch my fone till lesson ends cos i dun wanna be blamed one day if the kid screws up his/her exams, im ignoring my dad and his whole overseas crap, im just gonna work towards my goals and wad i want. I cant be pleasing everyone. Despite the tension i was feeling, there were some picture taking =)

2009-04-15T00:27:00.005+08:00

Ok current happenings for the past wk....

1) Last wed was Panguni, met up wif Uma and her bro at the mrt station and went from there.. met up wif bf and gang once i got there... saw faces that i wished and hated to see.. but have to say, had so much of fun this yr...

2) Did my supp paper for MGBD1 wif guidance from my bf. The paper was easy which means i aced it.. but it doesnt matter cos my school takes the old marks and not the new one. Another reason why im commentless about my skool and cant wait to get out of it
3) Went to West mall to watch the jap movie, handsome suit after that... It was a gd movie where it explains that looks arent everything in this world and there is more to that then just physical appearance.. had to leave abit earlier, missing the ending, due to constant calls from mum. Treated myself to Swensen's banana crumble after so so long and it was heavenly, as always.

4) Am invited to bf's family outings from now on. Isnt that great?

5) Everything is going on well now, so why do i keep having this nagging feeling that something is gonna screw up? Maybe its becos happiness hasnt really been a permanent thing in my life. It has always only been a visitor...

*The reason why i love u is becos i smile whenever im wif u*

2009-04-07T13:47:00.002+08:00

Ok have not updated for more than 3 wks...blog was under maintenance cos my attempts to change my blogskin didnt quite turn out well and some links and codes went missing..thx to haruna's help, blog is working again..

Quite a no of things happened in these 3 wks....

1) Bought a house alrdy.. At Chong Pang, Yishun. Will be shifted in by Nov first wk.

2) Sony Ericsson hp was giving alot of probs..sold it and got a second hand fone.. it turned out even suckier.. so will be getting another fone once pay gets in.. lessons keep getting cancelled so pay keeps getting delayed.. arrgh

3) Bastard from my past came back again asking for money.. This time bf and frens got involved and settled it smoothly. Thanks to that fat fuck, had to change my hp number.

4) Met Sinna last Sat for abt half an hour, was a very awkward moment wif him staring at me.. There were alot of pauses in between our talks.. felt like just running away.. but managed to talk things out..hope he moves on soon... seriously..

5) Having exams next Tue. Am studying quite ok.. Should be prepared by next wk.. Hope to nail it provided they didnt make any new changes to the notes in this one yr..

6) Its Panguni tmr, a kutty version of thaipusam... Thx to my monthly hormonal changes, i cant enter the temple.. but will still be going.. really wanna see my sweet bf in action tmr..hahahahaha

7) Miss my frens!!!! I so badly want an outing!!!

8) Hope the above plan takes place soon...

2009-03-18T23:30:00.005+08:00

18-03-09

Happy 51st birthday Mummy! I love u and u have done alot for me without a word of complaint. For me, u are the world's greatest mum and i will always love u.

Went to watch Suspect X, a mystery jap movie yesterday wif bf at Vivo. I enjoyed it even though it was abit slow paced. As for him, he was bored halfway and entertained himself by pinching and scratching me. Haha.

Meanwhile today, went cycling wif bf, doubles at east coast. It was super tiring but fun =). We cycled about 8-10km. Am so proud of myself.

Bf ROD today. That means no more NS for the rest of his life...ya and he is going arnd and bitching about it to all of his other frens who are still stuck in camp. Haha. Nevertheless, the journey of life begins for him from here. I officially welcome him to adulthood.

Gotta start preparing for my stupid supp exam next mth. I hate skool. I hate exams. Am prying so hard that i shld make it this time round. I dun wanna fail again. It sucks!!

Meeting Haruna and siva up on Sat. I so miss them. Wanna see siva's hair extension. Have an urge to pull it when i see it. Muahahahaha

19-03-09

Had an sudden invitation from haruna to meet up for our usual activity =). We had loads of fun, jus the 4 of us. Had our usual mini private sessions. Had some ugly flower drawn by siva using henna. But it turned out nice overall. Who would have guessed that siva would be putting henna for my bf one day? Hahahaha. Nevertheless, had lot of laughs yesterday and ya cant wait for Sat.

Busy preparing for my exam right now. Must try to make time to study=(

*I miss ur touch when u are away*

2009-03-17T00:03:00.008+08:00

Went to Little India wif mummy and cussie last sat for her wedding shopping. Ended up spending abt 150 bucks. Got myself a heels and a super beautiful saree to wear for her reception which will be held in Khalsa in late Nov. Bought my mum a pair of gold earrings for her bd which is on Wed. Am so proud of myself that i got her something valuable wif my own money =). Must get myself a nice punjabi suit to wear for her ROM this coming June. Am so busy wif tuition and skool stuff and preparing for her wedding. Caught the Thai thriller Coming soon wif bf. The movie was ok ok slightly disappointing since its from the director of movie alone and shutter which were really good. Walked arnd wif him after that and went back. The weather is ruining my plans for cycling wif bf. Hopefully the weather improves tmr.

*I love u baby*

2009-03-12T10:34:00.003+08:00

Am getting very moody these days...hormonal imbalances and stress is making me into a very naggy and whiny person..bf puts up wif it all and doesnt say anything..i feel so sorry towards him sometimes.. i wonder for how long he can be patient...its not as of i wanna be like this too...im trying to change myself...to be less moody and naggy.

Meanwhile on Tue, bf, his grandma, his sister and me went for dinner together at Pizza Hut near his place. His bro was wrking so couldnt come along. It was a treat from his grandma. Did i mention that she is such a sweetheart? Was quite blur at first as to what to talk to her..in the end we jus started talking. His sister was very frendly. For the first time, she started talking to me, asking me how i got to know him, why i chose him? Why i love him so much? I was expected to give an ans for everything cos she was waiting for one. She was very curious as to why im with her brother.

All of us went to a bookshop after that...his sister bought two books... i couldnt find the twilight series so didnt get any in the end.. After that, walked arnd clementi mall.. there was nothing much there..mostly food shops

Bf sent me home after that..

Went to watch watchmen yesterday...it was a painful 2.5 hrs.. couldnt understand the movie halfway and was feeling super cold.. dragged my ass to tuition after that....

Shld probably plan some beach outing wif frens soon. I miss them

*I love u sweetheart*

2009-03-10T12:10:00.003+08:00

Have an exam coming next mth on the 14th..ya it sucks big time..but i have to make it this time around...=(

Met up wif my cousins last sun t0 watch a tamil horror movie..it was pretty gd...something diff... went to eat in hongkong cafe after that...it was a treat from them=). The food was yummy and im so addicted to the glutinous rice balls now...i wanna have them today!!!

Had a long "open" talk wif my first cousin after that..she seems to be having so much of probs in arranging her marriage..I really pity her but i just told her nt to listen to anyone and just do wad she and her fiancee feels right. Its their life at the end of the day..

She asked me abt Raj..i told her abt him..how he is like and how we have been so far.. for once, she didnt have anything negative to say. In fact she jus told me that, if im happy wif him and if we make it thru all odds, we shld get married too.. haha..i guess only time holds the ans to whether if it will all end well....

Have to go little india wif mum and cussie to get a saree for myself the ROM..have to get a digi cam by then too... will have alot of photo snapping sessions after that..god knows when i will see her next after that since she is gonna move to her husband's place..

Eitherway, alot of expenses are waiting in queue for me..but somehow, im happy that everything is going well so far for once =)

2009-03-07T22:35:00.004+08:00

Tuitions have been keeping me occupied every day.. there is just enuff time for tuitions and to meet up wif bf at times.. even though i cant meet him as often as the past, he understands.

Bf is in camp now, doing duty. Its his last day of wrk today. He is finishing NS in abt a wk's time. Then comes in the studying and the working. Its gonna be a pretty hard period for him after that. But im sure that he will get thru.

After a yr, i finally went for pedicure today. After all the scrubbing and cleaning, my feet looks pretty now wif the nail art. Not to mention, the whole thing came up to $54. But then again, knowing myself, the next time i do it will probably be during deepavali or my cussy's wedding time.

Will be doing the cooking tmr. I will be making one of the dishes. Hmmm hopefully it turns out well =).

*My love for u grows as the day passes*

2009-03-01T23:39:00.004+08:00

Happy 2 months anniversary darling. U bring so much of happiness into my life that i feel so pampered and lucky when im beside u.. Looking forward to more anniversaries to come along=) I love u.

*Your voice makes my heart race
And your smile is an invitation
For my imagination to go wild*

2009-02-28T00:06:00.003+08:00

Happenings for this wk....

Uncle bought me 3 new tops from IP Zone =). Apparently, most stores are having sales to help to cope with recession.

GST money came in today=). Bought another new flat sandals and a mini hipster skirt=). Am gonna stop buying sandals for now.

Met up wif my bf and Les at Orchard. Went to eat at Sakura. It was Lester's treat. Went to play pool after that. I officially sucked at it BIG TIME and even then, i managed to win in the end=) Dun ask me how. Miracles do happen. Haha.

Bf went to meet frens after that and i came home after that, tired.

*My heart melts when ur eyes meet mine, when ur fingers entangle wif mine and when ur lips meet mine. I love u*

2009-02-24T11:31:00.003+08:00

The list of things i wanna buy and do once i get my pay...

1) One 3/4 jeans (a must!!!)

2) Another flat sandals

3) SK2 facial products set

4) Hp

5) Atleast 4-5 new tops (desperately needed)

6) Send lappy for repair

7) Go for spa

8) Go for facial

9) Go for pedi

10) Get a white gold locket

11) Get a small gold bracelet for myself

12) Start contributing $200 to the hse.

13) Start saving (Most Impt!!!!)

14) Rebond my hair (during late Oct)

15) Go for henna treament for hair (Probably after my rebond)

2009-02-22T23:28:00.005+08:00

This wk's happenings......

Fri

Went to Orchard and got myself a new flat sandals =). More coming on the way. Bf treated me to KFC. I treated him to a turkish dessert; it was some rice pudding which was yummy =). Finally, we both treated ourselves to Gelare chocolate overload ice cream and ice cream cake. It was heavenly.

Sat

Went for two tuitions in the morning and rushed off to meet bf and his frens at boon lay. We all went to watch slumdog millionaire, a super good movie. The actor was super hot!!! Haha. His frens were so sweet, i got fed by one of the guys and his bro bought me and him a choc chip cookie to munch during the movie. Its nice to see such sweet guys still existing in this world =). The guy's choc drink spilled on my bag cos i helped him sneak it into the theatre and soon after that everything, including my bag smelled of choc. Nevertheless, the outing was fun wif us walking arnd jurong point after the movie. Went to check out hps. Bf did something embarrasing in the hp shop. The day ended off perfectly wif all of us biding each other goodbyes and bf sending me off home.

Sun

Woke up feeling super tired. Dragged myself to 2 tuitions again. Spent quality time wif bf after that =). Have an outing planned wif Haruna and gang. Cant wait to see them. I miss them =)

Happy Birthday Baby Ashwin

2009-02-20T10:38:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday Ashwin! U are officially 2 years old now. Pls stop peeing on the floor, under the table or on my pants and pls stop crying whenever u have to bath. Hahaha.

Even though i love to irritate u to the max at times, im crazy abt u.....

2009-02-18T18:56:00.004+08:00

Am feeling so tired these days. Tuitions are keeping me busy almost every day, even on the wkends. Once i get home, i just knock out arnd 12 plus everyday.

Bf has decided to go kaplan institute to pursue a dip and then a degree in counseling and psychology. Finally he has decided on something that interests him. Now, its his job to study hard for his future. Im sure he will do his best =).

As for me, i do have plans to pursue my Masters but probably on another specialisation. Notbiomed but something else that can be combined wif biomed. Im so tired of genetics and microbes after studying them for the past 4 yrs. For now, i have to get a job cos sis has plans to get married next yr so the responsibilities are gonna fall hard on me next yr. Just the thought of it makes me so stressed up now.

Cousin is getting married on Nov 27. Planning to get my mum a nice saree for her bd which is a mth frm now to wear for the wedding. Am planning to get the same colour saree as my mum. So we both can wear matching matching. Haha.

Bf has gone airport to send his fren off. I miss him.

2009-02-17T11:28:00.002+08:00

Followed bf to PSB academy yesterday. Looked thru the courses. Am quite worried as to whether he will be able to get into the course. But now, i do have the confidence that he will make it.

Some things, once lost, can never be found again. It no use regretting now right? When i was beside u, u failed to see me. Now, whats the point of talking about all this?

I hope that u move on and i really hope that i dont ever run into u again.

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T22:25:00.006+08:00

First of all, happy valentine's day to all my loved ones.

Friday

Had a triple date drinking session with shaktee+titus and haruna + siva. Siva surprised haruna with a hand made bouquet and a couple ring (chosen by me!!!!) Thankfully she was able to fit into the ring and it looked lovely =). Bf stayed away from alcohol due to his second wisdom tooth op which he went to on Wed. Received a big big Winnie the Pooh bear and a Billabong wallet from Raj =). Was the centre of attraction of many in the train, with the bear in my arms. I felt like a spoilt princess =). Gathering went well till abt 9 plus where some issues arose and there was tension. Both of us lost our couple watches since we rushed off and his shirt is stuck wif shaktee. Took cab from there to cityhall wif him and he sent me home. Was feeling very moody and miserable by the time i got home. Bf was very patient wif me and made me smile. I love him.

Sat

Went for tuition in the morning and met Raj at about 2 at dhoby ghaut. Bf looked nice in the Polo Tee and jeans that i got for him, approved by sivashanker =). Both of us went to clarke quay for lunch at Manhattan Fish Market Plce located at central. The food was really good and affordable just that the soup of the day was some sweet potato thing which tasted more like some indian curry. We were feeling soo full by the time we left the place. Spent some quality time wif him after that =). I have to say, this is the happiest and best Valentine's day i have ever had. Throughout the day, i was full of smiles. He doesnt fail to remind me why im so much in love wif him.

2009-02-09T11:45:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was Thaipusam. Dragged my ass out of the bed after receiving Haruna's call at 8 plus in the morning. Made it to tuition =). Went to aunt's place after that to have lunch and my cousin did my hair. It looked nice but by the time i rushed home to get ready and leave, it became messy abit.

It was super crowded and the fact that it was on a Sun made the situation worse. Overall, actually, the event was boring but since i was wif my bf who disappeared at times to dance, smoke and whistle; and Haruna who was following behind me wif Shaktee disappearing occasionally, it wasnt soo boring after all.

One asshole whistled right into me and Haruna's ears. My ear went buzzzz for a few seconds before it became normal. Got pushed by one india fellow. Felt like smacking his face soo hard but b4 that, raj gave him a hard push. Another asshole spilled hot coffee on Haruna's hand. She was cursing him for 5 mins.

The walk was super long and since there was always some jam in the front, making it impossible for the others at the back to move. So we had to take many short cuts to move to the front. Never in my life have i taken this much of short cuts. I had to run in my saree occasionally to catch up.Met some known faces along the way.

By 9 plus, we reached the main temple. After 8 years, i stepped into the temple again, wif my bf holding my hand. Met up wif his brother there. We were planning an outing next Sat =)Hopefuly, this time all of us can make it.

Me, Raj, Haruna and Shaktee took a cab from there. The other 2 got down at Dhoby Ghaut. I took the cab back home. All of us were super dead beat, esp my bf since he was out since Sun early morning. Plus his leg was still recovering from the op and he was feeling more pain than any of us.

Im so tired to even go tuition today but on the happier note, im getting my pay =). This wk is gonna be fun wif the next outing on Fri and Sat is Valentine's day.

2009-02-05T11:17:00.003+08:00

Nothing much to update for now.. Took pics of Ashwin in Armani hairstyle and a one with a nerdy look. He looks so adorable in both. He is gonna grow up to be such a hottie la. i can already see the making in him.

I miss him. Ya i miss him so badly. Havent seen him for two days and it feels really long.

I feel really bad when i see her so sad. I wish i could do something to cheer her up, make her feel better but nothing seems to be working now. I really hope that things get better for her soon.

This Sun is thaipusam. Cant wait to meet my frens after so long. Its gonna be fun =)

2009-02-01T22:48:00.006+08:00

This wk was a super busy wk for me. So much of happenings, both happy and depressing filled moments.

Mon and Tue

It was Chinese New Yr. Most shops were closed with food prices increased by a dollar. Went crab catching at Sembawang beach wif Raj. It was damn fun. We caught about total 3 crabs, 3 starfish and some water beetles. I got pretty tired after awhile but my bf was pretty active with the catching =).

Got another anonymous call at abt 1 plus in the morning on Tue. This time round, he was just too dumb and i took the right action.

Wed & Thurs

Went to tuition and was super tired frm wrk and the project doing which was due on Fri. Bf went to visit his fren in hospital who was very serious after a bike accident. Am quite worried abt him taking bike licence now. Even though he has reassured me that nothing will happen, the worry is always there, making my heart feel heavy whenever i think about it.

Stayed up till 4 plus in the morning to complete my dissertation. Bf stayed up with me to accompany me. How sweet is that? =)

Fri

Bf went for dental appointment while i was rushing thru my project at home last min. Lack of sleep was making me more blur and naggy. Met him at Woodlands and we went over to RP to get my project done and print it out. Went over to sch to submit it. Felt sooo relieved after that, worried about my results though.

Went to Queensway shopping centre and Ikea after that for window shopping. Got very excited at Ikea after seeing the show rooms that was filled with beautiful kitchen tops, dining tables, bedroom set and finally, baby cots =). He was giving me wierd looks and asked me not to get too excited. How am i not to? I WANNA GET MARRIED! =) Bf sent me off at tiong bahru mrt station and went off to meet his frens.

Sat

Went over to my cousin's place after tuition. Finally she is getting married and the guy's family came over to officially ask her hand in marriage. Everyone was pretty excited but not exactly overjoyed as some of my family members were not there and my aunt is not exactly too happy abt it. Haiz. Nevertheless, after all the problems, we are glad that a happy event is taking place soon. This gives me a reason to get 2 new saree =).

Had a talk wif my first cousin after that. Am so glad that she is finally getting hitched. Jus keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes well for her.

Went to eat seafood with my family and 2 cousins after that. Dad and i started arguing. It turned out pretty bad with him ignoring me after that and me in tears by the time i got home. Dad wants me to do what he wants, then wad about wad i want? When i tell him wad i want, he calls me selfish and doesnt support my decision. Commentless.

Bf was out wif frens after urumee prac. Felt better after i had a talk wif him.

Sun

It's our one month anniversary and Haruna and Siva's four months anniversary. Got haruna's msg at 12 plus wishing me. So sweet =). This one month has been smooth sailing for me and him. Hope this happiness lasts in all the months to come. Met up wif him at arnd 4 plus after tuition. Went library to borrow some books and bf ended up taking books on house decorations. We both jus settled down in the library, looking thru the kitchen decorations. After all the looks i got from him at Ikea, he was planning on how our hse should look.

Had a heart to heart talk wif him after that on our future. Things got pretty stressed. But no matter wad, We are gonna make things work no matter how hard its gonna be.

*Happy one month anniversary sweetheart. I love u very much honey and am looking forward to more anniversaries to come*

2009-01-25T11:50:00.005+08:00

Have been too busy wif project and tuitions to update regularly but these are the happenings for this wk...

Wednesday

Ashwin peed in my 3/4 jeans today. Right after he woke up, he was crying and i carried him to calm him down. Apparently, he calmed down by doing his business in my jeans. Haha

Thursday

Bf went for wisdom tooth operation at Alexandra hospital, the place where he was born. Apparently he has all 4 of them and has to have them removed. But he only removed one on that day. Followed him there in the morning but the surgery was only at 3pm and i had two tuition that day so i left arnd 2 plus. Went off for my both tuition and went to Clementi at night to see him and got him porridge. It pained me to see him so much in pain and i was unable to do anything. I jus prayed hard to god that he should get well soon.

Friday

All the 3 couples in our group (shaktee + titus), (haruna+siva) , (me+raj) together wif Rosey had a get together. Since the usual place we always go to had forsaken us last min, we went to a new place. I dun wish to elaborate abt how the place looked but overall the events that took place that day was fun. All of us enjoyed ourselves and were entertained by Rosey's singing, Shaktee's toppling of the ash tray onto the bed, Haruna accidentally spilling my drink on the floor, Siva and Rosey being waxed. Haha. After Rosey left, all of us had time alone wif our respective partners. Took a cab from there to city hall. Bf sent me off home and went back. I was too tired by the time i got home.

Sat

Went jurong Point wif bf to watch movie, Love matters. A very funny chinese show. We were getting weird looks from most of the pple in the theatre as we were the only indians, together wif one fellow who came wif his chinese frens. Spent some time wif him after movie was over and went home.

Sun

Stuck at home, hoping to finish project by today. Have been naggy due to PMS. My stomach has been a real bitch. Spoke to his grandmother today in fone. She is such a sweetheart. She blessed me to have a good life =) Bf is out wif his frens and me tusck wif my project which i cant wait to finish.

*i want nothing more than to be wif u*

2009-01-17T23:57:00.005+08:00

Ok there is soo much to update for these past few days.

Thursday

Siva got a rental car and picked me up from my place. Even though he got lost in Yishun for a while, he managed to find my place, thanks to my right directional indications =) He is a pretty good driver, except for the fact that he LOVES putting sudden brakes at times just to scare us (Me, Rosey, Haruna and Shaktee) or to put me thru pain since i was stuck at the car boot when we went to fetch my bf from Woodlands. He got half day off that day since he wasnt having toothache =(

While the rest were in class, me Siva and Raj went to Sembawang park to jus chitchat. We just ended up gossiping about my ex =) Time really flies whenever we talk abt that fucker cos no matter how much we talk abt him, it just aint enuff.

After their class was over, we 3 went back to RP to meet them and after a while, all of us left. Managed to take a pic in Siva's car wif Haruna's help. My bf dropped me off at my tuition place after spending some time wif me. By the time tuition ended, i was super shagged. That was when my second ex msged me to meet up wif him for awhile. We met and he asked from me a very awkward favour. Haiz. And me being the samatarian, i decided to help him =)

Me in his car

Friday

Nothing much happened. Was just going thru my project which is almost complete. Went for tuition in the evening. Bf was stuck in camp wif tattoo checking. Apparently, his officers liked his tattoo so much and asked him to put another one in the other arm. Wad a encouragment.

Saturday

Was suppose to have some outing wif his bro but it didnt really wrk out since i had tuition in the afternoon and he had urumee prac in the evening, which got cancelled later on. Went to watch Villu at Causeway. The movie was good. My bf was drooling at the heroine. *Smacks forehead 3 times*

After that, mum called and pissed me off. I ended up in tears in the bus but Raj consoled me in a very funny way which i rather not talk about. Hehe. Ran into one of his frens on our way back. I was dressed like an auntie. Wad a timing. Its always like this. When i dress stylo, no one sees me. When i come worst than a maid, dun know from where all frens of his or mine pop out. Haiz. Overall, the day ended well wif him sending me off after spending some time wif me =)

* You have WOWed me from the very beginning. Love u baby*

2009-01-14T23:40:00.004+08:00

Spent the whole day at home, entertaining my bf who was bored in camp, sleeping and finally getting down to doing my project at night. Got back my stuff today. Finally =). Now my only wish is not to ever see that fuck face in my lifetime.
Meeting up wif Siva, Haruna and Rosey tmr at RP. I miss them=). Hope to meet my bf tmr but wonder wads the plan.
Have made plans on Sat wif his bro to go bowling. Hmm it will be a perfect bonding session wif him.Muahahaha..
On a seperate note, Haruna pls ask ur bf to stop spamming my tagboard. And Siva, i know that life is unfair. My mum says it to me all the time, but u dun have to prove it to me by being biased also. Im still waiting for u to screw Rosey for that comment! =)
Exactly a mth to Valentine's Day =)

* I love U. I love US*

2009-01-13T23:46:00.003+08:00

Went to Clarke today wif him. Since my bf hasnt been to any bar b4, i did the honors of bringing him around. We went to two bars; Crazy elephant where he had the drink sex on the beach and me blue lagoon and in the Retro bar, he had submarine(beer+vodka) while i had lychee martini. All the drinks were nice =) We're planning to go back there again when Les gets back. We didnt drink much as both of us were feeling tired; him from work and me after tuition and still recovering from my flu. Nevertheless, it was a nice outing.

He has duty tmr so we're unable to meet. On thurs, i will be super busy wif my tuition so we cant meet as well =(

On a happier note, im getting back my passport and make up kit from that Fat Bastard tmr. I have to pass him 165 bucks and he will pass me back my stuff. Thank god he is not coming and he will pass it to one of the gals that i know and i will be getting my stuff from her. Finally! I make sure i spit and curse on the money b4 giving. Haha. Oh well, i always believe that wad goes around will come around, even if not now, one day he will pay for everything he has done. As for me, he is one of the biggest mistake i have ever made in life and am just so glad that i only wasted 5 mths wif him and that chapter closed b4 it was too late.

My project is gonna be successfully completed soon =) Hope everything falls in place soon.

*I cant see a future that doesnt include u*

2009-01-12T23:55:00.005+08:00

Woke up feeling like crap today..was down with flu and sore throat. Upon hearing that i was sick, my bf came all the way down to Woodlands in cab to pick me up after my tuition. He brought me to eat dinner and sent me home. Such a sweet pie =)

I miss Lester! He is coming back after CNY and we have made plans to go Clarke to drink once he is back. Apparently my New Year resolutions are going down the drain.

I get jealous when u look at other women when im beside u. Even though u are being honest wif me abt it, i do feel jealous that ur eyes are swaying at someone else, even for that one second. I cant help it. I feel jealous and i cant do anything about it..=)

*The fact that u are wif me gives me the strength to face up to difficulties and gives me hope that everything will be alright*

2009-01-10T22:00:00.005+08:00

Was suppose to start a new tuition today at Thomson but apparently it got canceled and the agent didnt even bother mentioning it to me. Haiz was a wasted trip there.

After that, went to meet my sweet bf at Clementi MRT Station and we both made our way to Bugis to look for shoes for him. He jus g0t his pay today=) and that means lots of treats on the way for me!!! Yipee =)

We were unable to look around properly due to the large crowd at Bugis street so we just walked to Tekka. Got some sweets at the arcade and my bf finally got himself a devotional movie that he has been looking for for days thanks to his sweet and pretty and loving gf =) ME!!!!!

We walked past saree shops and i was making 'WOW' noises as i saw each of them. One pink saree wif bright blue stones caught my eye and am planning to get that once i get my pay since i dun have a pink saree.

I took the bus back and he went off to Clementi to his fren's place to watch the movie wif him. Me jus finished watching Om shanti Om and it is really a beautiful movie wif great acting. SRK looks hot, as usual.

Im having tuition everyday from Mon-Sun and am unable to meet him as often as last time. Despite being understanding, i know he feels sad and im trying my best to balance everything.

*When u put your warm arms around me, i feel so protected and wish time stands still so that the moment lasts*

2009-01-06T23:49:00.002+08:00

Ok this is my 51st post..hmmm thats fast.. havent been doing much these past few days. Have started tuition already. Finally am getting some income in. Bf is in camp now, having duty. I miss him

Met up wif Rosey, Haruna in RP for lunch. After that, we caught up wif Valli outside skool and they followed me to my new tuition block. We were catching up on latest updates wif Valli. Hmm that habit never dies in either of us. Haha

My dad is pretty much ok wif me alrdy. But still, its gonna take time before everything seems completely ok and my mum stops worrying as much as she does now.

Project is due Jan 30th and am still stuck on it. Now that tuition has started also,i must speed up my project. Stress Stress.

*iloveubaby*

2009-01-03T20:59:00.003+08:00

Things havent really been smooth sailing for me and its only been three days since 2009 began. Haiz..

Went to watch Bedtime stories movie wif him at PS. The movie was nice where the bedtime stories Adam Sandler told his niece and nephew came alive. How i wish my life was also like that, where it can be controlled by me. Haha.

Came home and carried the second boy to my room. Out of the blue, he started crying his lungs out. I freaked out like hell. Luckily Raj was arnd to tell me that everything will be ok. I nearly cried when i saw the baby crying soo much for no reason. My dad screwed me for bringing the child to the room. Things are neva gonna get better between me and my dad i guess. I keep getting blamed for things that sometimes isnt even my fault. But im already used to this. Things has always been like this for me. Getting blamed or screwed for things that i dun even do at times.

House loan hasnt been approved yet and its alrdy Jan. This sucks but cant do much except to wait. 2009 hasnt been great so far but am hoping it would be better soon.

*iloveuraj*

2009-01-01T22:16:00.003+08:00

Ok finally the long awaited 2009 is here. My New Year started off perfectly at 12am with my bf going on his knees to propose to me. He said some relationship vows which he promised to keep and read me a long love poem which he took very long to read finish. Haha either way, i accepted his official proposal and he presented me a white studded necklace wif a pair of earrings set. It was so sweet. So im finally attached officially and me and Haruna jus realised that our anniversaries will be falling on the same date, which is the 1st of every month..=)

At about 4 plus in the morning, i got a call from my parents asking me to get my ass home now. They sounded very disturbed and Raj and me had no choice but to pack up our tents and rush back in cab. My bf ended up waiting for me near my blk for 2 hrs while i went home to find out wad was wrong. There were some problems between me and my dad becos of a Bastard who gave an anoymous call to my hse at 4, screwing me to my dad. I swear if i ever find out who that fucker is, i make sure he answers for every single drop of tears that i shed today becos of him.

Anyways, my dad and I are not on talking terms currently. My mum is acting as our mediator for the time being. I really hope that things get better soon.

Raj was all the way consoling me and i fell asleep on his shoulders today morning before going to temple. We both were super tired. I went to temple looking like a maid as i had no mood even to dress up and jus then, we met most of his frens plus mine in the temple. Wad a timing!

Anyways even though my first day of a brand new year started off well and ended like crap, im very happy that im officially his and felt so loved by him when he held me and told me that everything will be ok and he that will always be there, and that no mater wad difficulties may arise, he promised to face it wif me.

2009 New Year Resolutions

1) Quit drinking

2) Quit smoking

3) Lose some weight (i doubt on this one)

4) Save up money

5) Be more hardworking

Have decided to quit my bad habits. I realised that i cant keep turning to them when im faced wif stress. One day i have to stop this habits. I might has well start now. My bf looked so happy when i told him that im gonna quit those 2. Haha.

I love you like I love a day
when everything goes right
I love you like I love to lay
and watch the stars at night
I love you like I love the rain
its lustful calm embrace
I love you like I love to laugh
until it hurts my face
I love you like I love to drive
with no real destination
I love you like I love the thrill
of pure infatuation
But most of all I love you like
I love a cherished friend
Who holds me tight, dries my tears
and loves me to the end

*iloveuKanagarajandIalwayswill*

2008-12-31T01:39:00.002+08:00

Yay! Its New Year tomorrow.. A brand new year..2009..Am looking forward to welcome it wif my loved ones. So much has happened this year. If i had a chance to turn back time, i wldnt have done certain things which i had done this year. But still, isnt that wad life is abt? Learning from ur mistakes and to live it it.

Am following my bf to his appointment later at NUH. In the evening, we are going to Sembawang beach to spend the night there. Got a 3 men tent so wldnt have any prob sleeping.

Am waiting for his call right nw. Feeling sleepy alrdy. Rosey will be back tonight. Miss her loads.

*iloveu*

2008-12-28T20:56:00.004+08:00

Have been pretty cranky these past few days..Arrgh..My bf has been pretty understanding..i nag and nag and nag..but he understands and doesnt say anything in return. My parents have been making me feel worse. Why cant they jus let me do wad i want? Haiz. If probably i can turn back time, i wouldnt have studied so much and just stopped at diploma. Jus becos i studied till degree, i have to go to a job that they recommend. Then wad about what i want? Commentless.

My project has been going on fine..thank god. Am currently addicted to a new korean show called The Devil; a murder mystery series which involves a SUPER HOT Lawyer, a cop, and a gal wif psychic powers. Am watching the third episode now.

Jus 3 more days to New Year. Hope this coming year would be a much better year for my family and me. I started off this yr with one guy and am gonna end it with another. Even though i dun know whats gonna happen in the near future, i do wish and hope that this is the right one and i will get the chance to celebrate all festivals and new years wif him.

Thank U for understanding my situation and being so understanding these past few days darling.

So many ways to say, "I love you",
never enough to say how much.

*Iloveubaby*

2008-12-26T12:56:00.003+08:00

Christmas went ok. I wasnt really in much of a Christmas mood yesterday cos i wasnt really feeling well. My bf came over to my place after his movie outing. He was amused with the way my family was interacting with each other. My first aunt was pretty amused with his name and pronounced it with such style and she kept saying his name aloud so soon everyone in my hse knew his name and probably wont forget it, thanks to my aunt =).

A few complications among his frens made him so worried that something may go wrong between him and me. Sweetheart, just wanted to say that this time around, no matter wad happens, i will do my best to make things work. Wadever problems that should arise, i will face it with u.

*iloveubabyandumeaneverthingtome*

5 more days to New Year

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T00:31:00.002+08:00

Today my bf came over to my place to transfer movies from my com to his PSP. My 2 aunties and mum gave him so much of sweets and cakes that they made to eat. He carried the second boy, Avinaash and surprisingly, the baby did not cry when he was in Raj arms at all. Initially, he was quite worried to carry the baby as he didnt know how to. But he managed in the end. Haha.

After that, we made our way to Sembawang beach to watch the movie there in his PSP. Unfortunately, it was raining very heavily and unlike all the others who were busy running for shelter, we both just walked, hand in hand, in the rain. It was sooo romantic, just like in the movies..=) Ya but the sucky part was that we both were drenched and were feeling so cold.

In the end, we just took the bus back to the MRT station and settled down under one of the blks to watch the movie. We watched Oldboy, this korean movie abt a guy who gets locked up for 15 years and gets released suddenly one day and how he goes on to find out who and why was he kidnapped,ending off with a surprising twist.

Tmr he is going out for a movie with his family and we will be meeting after that. I guess there's not much to do except maybe to jus go stone arnd somewhere. Im ok wif anything as long as my sweet bf is beside me =)..haha

Lastly, Merry Xmas Everyone.

6 more days to New Year

*iloveubaby*

2008-12-23T13:42:00.004+08:00

Am stuck at my aunt's place doing my dissertation now. Haiz, a 5000 word essay due on 30th Jan next yr. I have to finish it by the 25th which is like a mth from now. If i set my mind to it, im sure i can do it. But 5000 word essay on a male sex hormone? Of all topics i got this one. God please help me. My classmate's topic is harder. He has to write about acne. How much can u write abt pimples and acnes? In that sense, im better. There is so much to write abt a hormone. It just goes on and on.

My bf has duty today and is stuck in camp as well. Pity him. I miss him.

Managed to get him something for Christmas. Finally. Even though it was something simple, i liked it and im sure he will too.

I officially have his Sony PSP, a few of his T shirts and his passport sized foto. Hehehe.. he looks like a lost child.

Christmas is the day after tomorrow.

8 more days to New Year

*iloveudarling*

2008-12-22T22:57:00.002+08:00

Am feeling so tired right now... but still i must update on today's happenings. Met my bf at Cityhall mrt station today morning arnd 9. Haruna and Siva made their way there directly in cab. We both got ourselves lunch and 3 bottles of Coke (suppose to be 4) and made our way there.

It was soo fun wif Haruna, Siva, Shalini and Jaya. We played Uno, truth or dare(i dun wish to elaborate on the events that took place during this game), multiples of 7 and 123 bang where i kept losing cos i was too blur and ended up drinking most of the time. Even then, i managed to be steady and only felt abit tipsy. I feel so proud of myself ya. Haha.

After the whole gaming session, we 3 couples had our own personal time alone where the details shall not be discussed here. I had a great time wif my frens and my bf. I feel very happy that he was able to click wif Siva and his group of frens.

We shld probably do this sometime again. Haha. And i was not drunk after all the Chivas drinking..hahaha

Anyways my new blog skin was chosen by my boyfren. Its nice and i love it..=)

Christmas is jus 3 days away.

*iloveubaby*

2008-12-21T23:57:00.002+08:00

Met Raj today. We were just aimlessly walking arnd Yishun the whole day till abt 10 plus. He bought me contact lens. Thx honey. If i dun change them soon, i will soon be a cock eye..like wad u always call me..haha

Got myself a top at the funfair near my place, chosen by him. Yipee am gonna wear that on New Year Eve.

Am soooo looking forward to tmr. Meeting Haruna and Siva at bedok for breakfast at 8 plus. Hopefully my bf wakes up on time.

*iloveubaby*

2008-12-21T00:30:00.003+08:00

Went to watch Twilight today wif my bf at Lido. Did I mention that the hero of the movie, also the vampire, looks fucking hot in the movie. The girl looks not bad but in the poster of the movie, she looked better. Anyways, the storyline is abt love between vampire and a mortal. A forbidden love. The movie was good but for those who read the book and went to watch it, they wld find it abit disappointing.

After that, he accompanied me to Yishun and went off to one of his fren's hse prayers. Letchu called me to ask if we could meet. He jus booked out of camp today. As much as i wanna meet him, wad if Sinna is there when we meet? Well, i guess i cant keep avoiding him for long too. Singapore is small. Haiz

Sweetheart, i just wanted to say im sorry if i had said some silly things today. I know i have and im very sorry. I didnt mean it in any hurtful way.

I dont know why i love u so much. I dont know why heart beats so fast whenever u are beside me. I dont know why i cant seem to keep my eyes off u. I dont know why i feel a pinch of sadness deep down my heart whenever we part. I only know one thing; I love u to bits and U mean the world to me.

You know you are in love
when you see the world in his eyes,
and his eyes everywhere in the world.

I know i am.

10 more days to New Year

2008-12-20T00:02:00.002+08:00

Went temple today wif Raj.. He has gone to watch movie at Orchard wif his bro and frens..the showtime shld probably be at 2 or 3 plus.. i am planning to stay awake and wait till he gets back home..aren't i sweet? hehe

His brother was so sweet.He asked me if i could come along wif them and when we both could meet. Shld be probably during Christmas where i get to see his whole click again.

Looking forward to Mon. My bf managed to take the whole day off. They are planning to start getting intoxicated in the morning itself. I wanna sleep first before starting to drag the alcohol down. But its gonna be super fun with Shalini and her bf, Haruna and Siva. Hopefully, Siva doesnt start off the whole truth or dare thing. This time round, im not gonna do another dance no matter wad Sivashanker! Haha

Starting to feel tired alrdy. Must stay awake till my bf gets home. Haruna promised to entertain me in the meantime. She's such a sweetheart.

2008-12-18T14:12:00.005+08:00

Yesterday was a pretty long day. After filling up all job application forms, I went over to Haruna's hse. Her dad was admitted at East Shore hospital for a minor surgery and so i went to visit him. Haruna and I often used to joke abt how her dad looks like my dad, but the smaller version and how we should never let the both of them ever meet as they may end up influencing each other..haha.

Her brothers really wanted me to put up in their hse yesterday as it was close to ten by the time we left the hospital but i couldnt. My parents have to see my face everyday if nt they cant slp. I wish my parents were more like Shaktee's parents, more to the jovial, carefree..where u can talk to them literally about anything. The min i mention the word love infront of Mr Raveendran, he gives me the stern face, asking me to go look for a job first. Haha. My parents can be such a comedy at times.

Took some pics with Mahesan and Dinesh. The visiting session became a mini photo taking session. Haruna and I attempted taking pics too but the camera wasnt really cooperating with us yesterday. The fotos turned out like crap.

I didnt meet Raj yesterday. He was feeling too tired and had to go camp earlier next day. I hate NS. Lucky Haruna. I promised Sivashanker that i would have 2 big parties in behalf of Raj when he RODs. One is because Raj is RODing, the other is because he doesnt have reservist. Isnt that awesome!

Need to have a serious talk with my dad regarding my career. Am planning to go NIE now, to a diploma and work with them. So i will have a diploma in something and a degree in Biomed. So i will have something to bounce back on even if i lose my job in the other field one day. And NIE pays for everything and i even get paid so wad more?

Just finished cleaning my cupboard today. I just realised that i actually have soo many clothes..dresses..skirts and tops. Most of it which i havent even worn before, some only worn once. I have decided to stop buying clothes for now and i have some nice clothes to wear for Christmas and New Year..Yipee!

I miss Rosey..she is in for sooo many updates when she returns. Cant wait to see the look on her face when we start updating her on all the past events.. I shld probably have a bottle of water standby in case she faints or ear plugs in case she screams..hahaha

*13 more days to New Year*

*iloveusweetheart*

2008-12-17T12:28:00.002+08:00

Have been filling up job application forms since i time i woke up till now. Actually i only plan to start working arnd Jan cos thats when my project will end and i will know exactly how many tuition assignments i will be continuing but im just looking for a job now so that my dad will stop breathing down my neck for now.

Meanwhile, i have been eating alot..really alot.. if this continues im gonna end up looking like a big balloon..haha. My bf is soo worried that i will end up looking like his ex gf. Dun wry sweetheart, if i ever end up looking like her, i will probably kill myself.

Did i mention that my bf can be so sweet at times? Ya, yesterday when we met, he accidentally disfigured my new slippers which i jus bought yesterday. I cld have just brought the shoes to the cobbler but he brought me to a shop, got super glue and fixed my shoe for me..haha

I cant believe that Christmas is just next wk. Oh my god.

Exactly 2 wks to New Year

*iloveuKanagaraj*

2008-12-16T15:02:00.003+08:00

Yesterday will probably be one of the days i will not forget. Raj and me met up with Haruna, siva and his frens for a mini drinking session. The events that took place after that shall not be discussed in further detail but i should say that all of us had loads of fun screwing and disturbing each other. Hahaha

I sooooo wanna watch Twilight..should drag my sweet bf to that movie probably this wkend.

15 more days to New Year*

*iloveusweetheart*

2008-12-14T22:38:00.004+08:00

So in the end, we didnt get to watch the sunrise today morning as we both were too tired to even care abt the sunrise..haha..Yesterday he gt there at arnd 12.. and the cuckoo didnt get me food cos his fren dropped him there. I also didnt really feel hungry after tat so i jus ate the chips. We stayed awake and watched Spongebob Squarepants and talked till abt 6.30 in the morning and after that slept till abt 9 plus.

After that we made plans to watch the Surya's movie which we have been planning to watch for a long time. The movie was pretty gd..emotional at certain scenes.. I actually cried at a particular scene where his gf dies.. Surya looked hot as ever, his body was solid. I told Raj to work out his body till he has 6 packs oso. He just stared at me..haha..

After that, we just relac near Northpoint, talking abt future plans. There is so much to do in so little time.

We had our dinner and he left arnd 9.30.. So in total we spent abt 21 hrs together and even then, it didnt seem enough for me. When he left, i felt a pinch of sadness deep down my heart. I only know that i have never felt for anyone to this extent before.The feelings are so strong. When it comes to him, it just seems so different.

Things are going very well and i hope that they stay this way as always. I will give my best for him because

I love him and im crazy abt him

*IloveuKanagaraj*

2008-12-13T23:33:00.001+08:00

ok my bf will be reaching in abt 10 mins time... cant wait..Weeee..hehe.. missing him loads and loads right now.. Haruna is entertaining me in the meantime..

*18 more days to New Year*

2008-12-13T14:52:00.005+08:00

Yesterday i finally got myself a new HP!!! Yes!!! I upgraded my m1 line and i got a sony ericsson W890i with 2GB card. My mum topped up the $68 for me cos she cldnt stand my whining anymore. Have to get a job real soon. Am getting more and more broke by the day and i hate the fact that i have to keep going back to my parents for more money. Christmas and New Yr is also approaching and there is so much to do with my family, frens and Raj. I havent even gotten him a shirt yet which i shld do real soon.

So right after i got my phone which i promised my mum that i will never ever sell no matter wad happens, i started cam whoring with my 2 baby cousins. The first one is such a poser..haha while the second one hated taking fotos. It was such a headache taking pics with him..bt i managed..haha

Then in the evening, i was suppose to go temple with Raj and Sonia bt he had work last min so only we both went. I felt so distracted when i went to the temple. It was like cos we always go to that temple together and the fact that he was nt beside me when i entered the temple, made me feel so one kind.. I oso dun noe why i felt like that...

So after praying, we both were walking arnd finding a place to eat.. and i discovered a indian restaurant. The food was really gd and the prices were not bad also. I shld bring Raj there one day.

At nite me, Raj, Haruna and Siva was in conference call. I and Siva were disturbing each other..haha as usual. Haruna & Siva were giving Raj ideas as to where to bring me tonight. Those 2 neva fail to remind me how sweet they really can be at times..haha..thx guys!

So tonight, Raj and I are gonna stay out to watch sunrise. It gonna be fun.. looking forward to it..

So above are the pics of the 2 kutties and me. They are growing up to look soo cute..my god!

*iloveusweetheartandumakemyeverydayspecial*

2008-12-11T13:50:00.002+08:00

Have been a hardworking girl these past 2 days, working on my project.. my project has been going on well.. shld be finished by the time New Year arrives.. Am pretty much recovered from my flu.. but Raj ended up getting sick cos of me. Looks like my fever got transferred to him. Haiz. I want new clothes..handphone.. shoes..and have officially gotten permission from mummy to stay out this Sat and on New Year's eve. Yipee! Cant wait.

20 more days to New Year

*iloveu*

2008-12-09T23:26:00.004+08:00

Have been down with fever the past 2 days. Raj, my cousin, her fren and me went for picnic at Palawan beach; Sentosa yesterday.The weather was being such a bitch and it keep raining non-stop. That was how i ended up getting fever by the time i got back. Nevertheless, the picnic was fun. My cousin and her fren kept arguing and throwing sand at each other, chasing each other and hitting each other. Haha. Raj and i were busy playing in the water and i got slammed and pushed into the water by him. Wad a loving boyfren...haha

After that, we went to eat dinner and headed back. He sent me home and by then, i was down with fever and keep sneezing and coughing. He took care of me soo well. He wiped my hair for me and tied it neatly once it was dried.

Today morning, i had to wake up early for tuition and i was still feeling very sick and drowsy. When i gt home, i took a nap but i kept waking up cos the kids and my sister was making so much of noise. Raj came all the way to Yishun to meet me after his camp. I was so touched when he got me chocolates and asked me to get well soon. I felt much better after seeing him and spending time wif him.

22 more days to a brand New Year. Looking forward to it.

*As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. . . I will always keep falling in love with you. I love u Kanagaraj*

2008-12-07T14:04:00.002+08:00

Nth much to update for now.. Went to temple on fri. Met up wif Uma and her bro there. Raj came after camp to meet us there. It has been exactly 2 yrs since i last went to that temple and after 2 yrs, i went there wif him. There was a big prayers going on there that day.

After that the 4 of us took bus to my place. Its such a coincidence of how Raj knows Uma's so called bf. Both were ITE mates..haha..the world is indeed small.After sending me off home, he went off.

Sinna has been calling me, as usual. But i just choose to avoid his calls. Now when i think back abt the things he has done and said at times, i feel so angry at myself..for being so blind and cuckoo head back then. Love is not blind..the lovers are blind. Sometymes even though the hard facts are right in front of our face, we choose not to accept it becos we are too blinded by love to want to accept it.

It seems that he msged Uma in frenster, wanting to get to know her. Im commentless abt that..

Meanwhile, it only 24 days more to New Year! Am looking forward to spending it wif my loved ones.

*iloveuKanagaraj*

2008-12-05T00:15:00.004+08:00

Went for an interview today morning to teach at pre-school. Hmm looking at the way it went, i doubt i will get the job and so have to continue finding some other job. After that, i went to Orchard to meet up wif Lester. He was flying off to Philipines this Sat and will only be back next yr jan. Am gonna miss him. I cant believe i have known him for 4 years alrdy. Time really flies.

We went over to Lido to catch the movie Sex drive. It was pretty funny..something like Euro trip. After that we were walking arnd Orchard looking for a place to have dinner while waiting for Raj to come over to meet us. I had Maple Walnut ice cream. It was heavenly. Lester ordered snails for appetiser and he persuaded me to try since i havent. I ate about 3 and it tasted sth like oysters. But i dun think i will ever eat that again.

The food arrived late and Raj ended up waiting for us long. He sounded pissed when i called him so i rushed over to meet him first with Lester finishing off his food. He didnt look pissed anymore after we met. The plan was to play pool after Lester joins us but my blur fren forgot my bag at the restaurant itself and so he went all the way back to take it while we both went to Lucky Plaza to check out the pool place. It was alrdy 10 plus by the time Les came back wif my bag and the place closes at 11. So we just chilled out at Mac while Les was showing us some funny videos.

The 2 seemed to get along pretty well and they took the same train back home. He has met almost all my frens and im glad that he is able to click wif everyone.

Many things are still disturbing me. They say that ignorance is bliss but sometymes i wonder if it really is. I dun know for how long im gonna avoid things or run away from them

If time could stand still, I’d freeze it here,
So you’d always hold me, close and near.
In your arms, where I’m meant to be,
Filled with the perfect love you’ve given me.

A bond so strong, a hold so tight,
To know you’re the one; my ‘Mr. Right’.
A blessing sent from up above,
In you I’ve found my one true love.

Our lives entwined to be as one,
Upon this journey we’ve just begun.
Where you and I will find no less,
Than eternal love and happiness.

*iloveuKanagaraj;uaremyeverything*

2008-12-04T00:28:00.004+08:00

Feeling so disturbed and confused right now. So much of mixed emotions are causing a turmoil in my already disturbed heart. Was wif Raj just now when Sinna msged me if everything was ok and that it pained him when he saw me with someone else. I guess i saw that part coming sooner or later; where he wld msg me to ask me who is the guy or wad since i have displayed our pics in my friendster. What i didnt expect was the part where he said that it pains him. I was deeply disturbed upon seeing that msg.

I dont know who's fault is it. Is it my fault for falling in love with Raj or was it Sinna's fault for not being there when he claimed that he likes me and stuff. Where was he when i needed him? Where was he on my bd? He always goes missing and appears when he feels like it. And i was suppose to accomodate to that.

I remember those times when i used to sit and wait around for his msg,his calls or to meet up wif him. But he spends 3/4 of his free time in Krisland finding gals in friendster to make fren wif. Even though it pained at that time when i found out that he still talks to other gals and meets up wif them when i was arnd, i jus closed one eye cos i didnt have much of a choice. Or maybe becos even though we liked each other at that time, we were not together or anything. So i didnt have any rights over him or wad he does.

As time passed, i realised that he was never there when i needed him the most. He was just like a passing cloud in my life. I was getting so tired amotionally and i decided that im just wasting my time and life over him. I started moving on away from him. That was when i met Raj.

I dun understand why Sinna has to come back now. Where was he when i was there? He was never there i guess. He was only there when he felt like it. When i was with him, i always felt that i didnt matter to him as much as he mattered to me. I guess he was a very big mistake right from the beginning.

After Sinna, i didnt expect to find love or to find someone who would love me. But right now, I have a guy in my life who loves me so much and shows me with so much of love, care and attention..a guy who does his best for me..and this time i hope that nothing goes wrong..because i dont know if i will have the strength to handle another heartbreak.

*iloveukanagaraj*

2008-12-03T00:01:00.003+08:00

These past few days spend in my aunt's place has been such a relief for me. I had the best sleep there and feel abit better now. My parents have installed internet there in my Uncle's place cos apparently my sister is going mad without internet. And there is also SCV coming in by tmr in our room.

My parents are making the best out of the situation just for my sister and me. I feel so gifted to have such parents and i thank god for that.

Meanwhile, i went to meet Raj today at his place. Bumped into his brother and his grandmother. His brother heard me whining abit(so embarrassing).

The year is ending in just 3 wks plus more. Looking forward to a brand new year.

*ILoveUKanagaraj*

2008-12-02T00:47:00.003+08:00

Circumstances tend to change a person's life very much. Everyone wont be the same all the time. Circumstances and the things that have happened in my life in these recent months have changed me so much that even i myself dont know who am i anymore. I used to be this gal who doesnt have any bad habits.. who was able to take stress and still carried on with life without much worries or sadness.

Now, i have started drinking and smoking. I wish i can stop myself from all this but they seem to provide me temporary relievement from my problems. I know that they are not permanent solutions to my worries or my depression. However, they peovide me with relief for jus that 5 mins when i smoke or the 30 mins when i drink. This is not an excuse for me to start all these habits but i cant help myself.

Having reached the age 21, i find myself facing so much difficulties and responsibilities are awaiting me. Planning to find a part time job and continue with teaching tuition till i graduate. Time seems to be passing so fast and so much needs to be done in so little time.

Despite not being the gal he expected me to be in the end, my bf still understands wad im going thru and still supports me in wadever i do and accepts me the way i am. Even though i know that deep down he does not like me smoking, he just accepts it because he knows that im so stressed right now and smoking is giving me the temporary relievement that i need.

Thanks lot sweetheart for being so understanding. The fact that u are beside me everyday gives me the tweeny weeny hope that things will get better soon. I Love U and U are like one of the best things that has ever happened to me in my life.

Looking for hope that was lost

2008-11-30T21:23:00.003+08:00

The past few days have been probably one of the worst days of my life.Shifted to my Uncle's place on Fri night itself. Had trouble sleeping since there were 5 of us sharing one room with all the boxes filling up whatever space that is left in the room. The room was so stuffy and hot. All of us were depressed but we were trying to make the best out of the situation.

Things were not getting better on Sat. There were some mild arguments between my dad and my grandfather. Harsh words were exchanged between my sister, me, my mum and dad. I know i have said some harsh things to my mum these past few days out of frustration and i wish i could take it back. Im sorry Ma and i always love u.

My dad screwed me up for staying up awake till 4am,watching tv. I have always been sleeping late in my own house so why cant i stay awake now also? That was when reality hit me hard. Wadever is it, that is not my house and i cannot be the way i was at my own house. Basically, i dont have freedom in that house now because ITS NOT MY HOUSE.

There is no internet in that house.. no SCV.. basically we dont have a life there.. but wad choice do we have? Even though my parents dun say much to my sis and me, i know that they are very upset with the way things are and they are the ones who felt the greatest sense of loss when they handed over the house keys to the new owner.

Right now, all of us are praying so hard for the loan to be approved as soon as possible so that we can buy a house of our own soon.

The only thing that brings joy to my fucked up life right now is being with Raj. These past few days, i have been treasuring every minute that i have been spending with him because when i get home, its back to the square one where i get depressed and stressed all over again. He has been cheering me up, telling me again and again that everything will be ok. He is like my greatest strength right now to continue with life.

**I dont know what i would have done without u Kanagaraj and i just wanted to say that I Love U To Bits and Thanks for everything that you have done for me and have been doing for me so far**.

*I Love U*

2008-11-26T22:21:00.003+08:00

Today was a pretty long day for me. Morning i got my ass out of my bed after my bf gave me a wake up call at 8 plus. I was supposed to meet Sivashanker at 9.30 at Jurong East to follow him to camp and then to the ICA building to do passport for him.Unfortunately, even after 60 missed calls, the cuckoo didnt wake up and i got tired of calling him and when back to sleep.

Woke up at arnd 11 plus.After that, i went to meet Haruna and gang at Woodlands and we both went to Jurong to meet Siva. Haruna was stoning arnd. Siva and I were disturbing each other. Hahaha

Haruna went off home from Bugis and Siva and me took bus to ICA. I got back at arnd 6 and by the time i got home, i was dead beat.

I didnt meet Raj today cos he was stuck at camp for duty. Haiz.

After so long, my whole family sat down and ate dinner together at the hall. As the day of shifting approaches, im getting more and more depressed. Even though i know that its for the best, im really gonna miss my home, very much.

* I Miss U Kanagaraj*

2008-11-25T23:55:00.004+08:00

Raj,Me and Haruna at Pizza Hut

Every morning when i wake up, i start my day by seeing his msg or receiving his phone call. Today morning as usual, i got his msg to call him but when i tried calling, i cldnt get thru. Apparently, his line got disconnected. I got so worried for some reason. I know that he will definately call me but it was just some wierd feeling that i was going thru. I felt so restless and even though i was feeling so sleepy, i could not sleep. I was just stoning arnd my hse,staring at my phone, waiting for it to ring. And finally at abt 2 plus, he called.

I felt so happy and awake the minute i heard his voice. And suddenly, i felt like crying. Its like i missed him so much. Only after he called, i felt like myself again. Its only at that point i realised how much im gonna miss him or how lost im gonna feel if one day i wake up and he is not there..

After that, i met up wif Haruna, Rosey and Shaktee at RP. The other 2 left and me and Haruna went to Jurong to meet up wif Raj to eat at Pizza Hut. Only after we got there, we realised that Jurong Entertainment Centre was closed. And so we went to Lot 1 to eat there.

The service at Lot 1 Pizza Hut sucked big time. They got our orders wrong, everything got served late and apparently the so called cream of chicken soup had no chicken pieces in it.

But despite all that, it was fun having dinner together with my best fren and my boyfren. It was nice to see him getting along so well with my frens. I know that they like him alot and they are protective of him in a way.

Hoping that everything falls in place as the year begins..

2008-11-24T23:43:00.003+08:00

Ok so today have been abit of a busy and tiring day for me. My dad dismentalled my bed today. Have to slp on the floor for the next few days till we shift to my Uncle's place this Sat. Even though its gonna be pretty crampy over at his place till we get a new house, i can get to spend more time with my 2 baby cousins; Ashwin and Avinash. Man, they are growing up so fast. Its really a joy to watch children grow up.

Meanwhile, i met Raj today at Westmall just now. They were having some Christmas Sale. Really gotta start saving up for some Christmas shopping and bills settlement. Gonna start looking for job next week after the shifting is done. I have one of his baby pic's with me now. Omg he looks so cute!!! Hehehehe..

I probabaly shouldnt be broadcasting my BF's pics in my blog but i cant help it. He just looks soo cute. Haha.

Am so addicted to The DaVinci Code book right now. Hmm what if Christ's bloodline still exists till now? Really cant imagine. Its gonna cause a stir around the world.

We have so much more than I ever thought we would,
I love you more than I ever thought I could.

I promise to give you all I have to give,
I'll do anything for you as long as I live.

In your eyes I see our present, our future and past,
By the way you look at me I know we will last.

I hope that one day you'll come to realize,
How perfect you are when seen through my eyes.

I Love U Sweetheart

2008-11-23T23:38:00.003+08:00

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
to work side by side
and then smile with pride
as one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
to take time to share
to listen and care
in tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
to be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
as a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
of all the good things
that sharing life brings
love is the greatest of all.

I've learned the full meaning
of sharing and caring
and having my dreams all come true;
I've learned the full meaning
of being in love
by being and loving with you.

He is like one of the most sweetest guys i have ever seen. I dont know if i will ever have a next life but im really glad and thankful that i met him in this lifetime. He were like a light that came to lit up my dark life. He doesnt mind if i drink or smoke or wad ever, as long as im happy, he is happy too. My happiness means alot more to him than his own happiness.. What more can i say to have a guy like this in my life?

I Love U Sweetheart and U mean the World to me

2008-11-23T02:15:00.005+08:00

Yesterday afternoon, Raj came over to my place. I was very nervous as this was the first time he was coming over to my place and he is probably the last person outside my family seeing my house as im shifting out next Sat.He found my mum pretty frendly and amusing and my dad quiet. My dad has always been a man of few words and my mum is the one who yaks alot and i take after my mum in that yakking area. Haha.

After that, he got a last minute invitation from Haruna and so we both went over to her place. It was soo fun in her hse. As usual, i did one of my clumsy acts by accidentally pouring the drink on the dining table cos i got distracted by Rosey who was busy calling me names. Haha. My bf jus gave me the ' U did it again' face and after that everyone was so worried to pass me the plate or the cups. So much of confidence in me. And ya Raj broadcasted my drunk blabbering recording to Shaktee, Rosey and Haruna. I swear when i find that recording in that phone Kanagaraj, im so gonna delete it.

Meanwhile, Sinna was msging and calling me to ask if he could meet me. He sounded so disappointed when i said i cant make it.He surprised me by waiting near my blk. I didnt expect him to be there waiting for the past half an hour. He has been wanting to see me and when i told him that i cant make it and that im in Haruna's place, he sounded so disappointed and said that no matter how long it takes, he will wait for me. In the end, he did wait and even bought me a brooch as a deepavali gift.. i was seriously at a loss of words..

When he had a chance to make things up to me, he wasted it. Now he wants me when my heart already belongs to someone else; when i wish to be with someone else; someone whom im madly in love with. I really dun understand that guy. He wants to make a comeback into my life when everything is already too late and i have already lost my heart to someone else.

Everyone in Haruna's hse officially knows that Raj is my bf, except her dad. Even her grandmum came and asked me if he was my husband and if we were married. I told her no and that we were like gf and bf but she took it that he was some sort like my husband. Haha.

We played some card games and Rosey was giving so much of mixed reactions and omg that was so funny. For once, she was like the joke of the day and not me.Muahahaha. My bf showed some card tricks to them and Rosey couldnt get it at all, even after 3 demos. Haha..she had the lost child look on her face. We got so carried away by the games and i only left her place arnd 11. Raj and I took a cab to my place and in the cab i cried for some reason. Everything is going so well between Raj and me and i was just so scared that something may go wrong between us. I wish i can tell him how much i love him at times but in the end, all i can say is that I love You. These 3 words says it all..

2008-11-21T23:49:00.005+08:00

This is the first pic of Raj and me. Even though i look like some lost child, haha, overall the pic turned out pretty well i guess. It was taken on our way back from temple. He was feeling very sick today and apparently he didnt tell me about it because he really wanted to accompany me to temple today. Only after the temple when we when to eat, he told my cousin that he was not feeling good and she had to tell me.
When i see the things he does for me, at times im just at a loss of words.I just wish to say that i am really lucky to have u in my life now. I love you Kanagaraj and this is a dedication for you.

When I'm with you,
eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you...
you'll never really know.

You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know I hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever And Always,
I Will Love You."

2008-11-21T09:56:00.002+08:00

Almost everyday there is something happening in my life right now. Yesterday i was suppose to meet up with Sivashanker to follow him to camp. After dragging my ass out of my bed at 9, i spent about 20 mins waking him up and after about 24 missed calls, he finally woke up. Due to some changes in plan, i went over to Woodlands to meet up with Haruna and gang while Siva made his way to RP. It was really fun with all of them and during lunch, Rosey got me a hot dog bun where the hot dog is extremely long and big..haha..ya i know.. So everyone there, esp the guys, had some comments about it. At abt 4 plus, Siva left and i accompanied him to the MRT station and halfway to the Mrt station, i ended up carrying his backpack for him. Such a bully la that fellow..haha..i had no idea that i miss him so much till i met him yesterday.. He is the kind of guy where i can open up to and talk to him about literally anything and not feel uncomfortable about it.. Not just me, everyone in the group is very comfortable with Siva and we actually can spend hours talking about anything..He is such a cute ass la..haha

After that, we dropped by Haruna's aunt place awhile. I was busy helping myself to the biscuits there and did i mention that she has a cute son but he has a very 'dont talk to me' face. So ya.. After that, i rushed over to Clementi to meet Raj. We were suppose to go to the Forest Walk but i forgot to take down the bus no to take so we ended up going to Mount Faber Park. This was my first time going there and it was a very long walk from Vivocity to the park. My legs were killing me but i tried myself not to whine as i didnt wanna spoil the moment and he really wanted to bring me there and i didnt wanna spoil that. But in the end, i started whining when i realised that even after walking for 20 mins, the park was not there yet. Finally after much walking and whining from me, we reached the park.

The park was very windy and there were some really beautuful houses along the way to the park. We sat down at one of those bench chairs and enjoyed the breeze that welcomed us. The view was pretty bad cos the trees were not trimmed yet so there was not much of a view to see and the chairs were placed at wierd places. But overall, the moment i spent with him was very sweet. After that, it got pretty late by the time we left the park, so i had to catch a cab and run home..

Even though everything seems pretty much happy and perfect now, some things are still disturbing me. I am shifting next Sat to my aunt place. As much as i dont wish to go there, i dont seem to have much of a choice right now. Jus praying that the loan get approved soon. Meanwhile, Sinna has been msging me and calling me. All of a sudden, he is being like this. Jus now, he called and asked if things were ok and he actually told me that he misses me. I didnt know what to reply so i just said that i have been pretty busy with shifting and all. He told me that he is booking out later and asked if i had the time to come and meet him. I just said im not sure if i can make it and answered ok for everything and hung up the phone. I felt very disturbed after that.

Even though i feel happy now, some things just keeps coming back and distorts my mind at times.

Christmas tree at Vivocity

2008-11-20T01:23:00.003+08:00

2008-11-20T00:38:00.004+08:00

The past 2 days have pretty much been fun filled. Yesterday was Haruna's 19th birthday and after persuasion, she agreed to get her ass out with me, Shaktee and Rosey. After much change of plans, we finally got ourselves a hotel room to drink and enjoy ourselves. I only drank about 4 cups and was very careful not to get drunk or high as i was going to meet Raj after that. At about 4pm, Siva came over with lunch for me..haha.i was so hungry and i asked him to get me fishball noodles. He can be such a sweetheart at times. I fed Shaktee half and i ate the other half. Following that, we had a mini cake cutting ceremony with me saboing Haruna in the end..haha..the look she gave can never be forgotten in the end..haha..

After that,I was rushing off to meet him. I, Rosey and Shaktee caught a cab to the nearest mrt station, leaving the 2 love birds alone. Rosey went off home and me and Shaktee took the train to Jurong. We were so tired and we were falling asleep in the train. I met him at Boon Lay mrt station and just to mentioned he looked smart in army uniform for some reason. Dont ask me why, i wish i knew..haha..

Today, we both met up at Vivocity to watch the movie Rec, which is the so called Spanish version of the upcoming Quarantine. I hope Hollywood doesnt spoil this remake as well. This movie was really good and im glad that we watched this instead of Quantum of Solace. This movie was pretty freaky at some parts and did i mention, my boyfriend freaked out so much at a particular scene and right after he freaked out, he was hurling vulgarities and i was busy laughing at his reaction.Haiz, wish i had caught that in camera. Haha. In the theatre, he was holding onto my hand so tightly and at that point, i really wished that time would have stopped still. I know that he will not let go of my hand and I know i wont.

After that, we went out of Vivocity to have a look at the Christmas tree which was very tall but extremely beautiful. He was busy snapping pictures of it while i was just admiring the Christmas tree and the lights that was beautifying it. The fact that the guy i love is beside me while im admiring the Christmas tree made the moment more sweeter.

After that he sent me home and went off. Even though we made a deal of just to meet twice a week, apparently its not working for the both of us. Haha. We met almost every day this week..But once i start working and he starts skooling, our lives will get busy and we have got to make time for ourselves to even meet up. Anyways, Kanagaraj i just wish to say this to U :

if i have to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.

2008-11-17T23:56:00.003+08:00

Today i helped one of Raj's frens get movie tickets for the new Surya movie.. he was gonna catch it with his gf and after getting it for him, i met up with him to pass it to him and he dropped me off at my aunt's place.. During the short car ride, we were talking abt Raj and he was telling me abt wad a nice guy Raj was and all..

It felt nice talking to his fren..Apparently my bf has a nickname called bear cause he goes around bitting people on their birthdays..sort of giving them something to remember on their birthday..haha..

In the evening i went to meet Raj.. i felt like cooking something for him and ended up cooking mee goreng..one of my so called speciality dishes.. apparently my mum ended up adding extra salt and i had to cover it up by adding more vegetables.. it turned out well in the end..haha

It feels really nice cooking for someone u love..and best part is when u see them eat what u cook, u feel the satisfaction that they enjoyed it..I have never cooked for anyone outside my family before and he is the first one..

Things are going very well between me and him.. but nothing is perfect in this world right? And in my life, things just dont seem to go right for long.. Im jus so worried that something may happen between us and things may get screwed up..I know that im thinking too much but i cant help it.. His assuring words jus now made me feel much better but a teeny weeny bit of fear still grips my heart for some reason.. Wadever is it, wadever thats meant to happen will happen..

When i first met him, i liked him.. then i started falling for him..Now im in love with him and the feeling just gets stronger and stronger..and i cant seem to stop myself from falling deeper..

Im just hoping and praying that this happiness lasts long..for a lifetime..

Its my sweet fren Haruna's birthday today.. and i just want to wish her all the best in wadever she does and may she stay healthy and happy always with the cute smile in her lovely face.. I love u Haruna and im lucky to have a fren like u!!

2008-11-16T13:16:00.002+08:00

Today im stuck at home packing up stuff.. I cant believe im leaving my home in abt 2 wks time.. i have lived here for 11 years and i always thought that my sis and i would get married in this hse.. But i guess my family have started taking things well.. they look more happier now.. my mum no longer whines that much.. my dad doesnt seem to shout that much anymore.. even my sis and i have started talking alot more than usual..haha surprising.. My cousins and aunt are coming over to my place later to help with the packing and after that we are all going for dinner.. Its been very long since we all ate together as one, big family..

The past two days have been filled with alot of sweet and happy moments.. On fri i went to temple with Raj..after that we went to meet his frens and he introduced me to them.. they were really frendly and they made me feel welcomed..after that he accompanied me all the way back home and went off..

Yesterday we both went to catch Madagascar 2 at Bugis.. we were sitted right at the back corner and i was not able to see abit of the screen and had to sit up properly to see the screen. The back seats are suppose to be the so called best seats but apparently in Bugis, they were the worst..

He surprised me with a love letter on Fri.. even though the letter was hurriedly written, his thought to surprise me and the words in it made me feel so special and loved..I felt so touched by after reading the letter and the poem at the end of the letter was so sweet..No one has ever made me feel this special in my life..not even any of my ex boyfrens..no one.. after so long im receiving a love letter.. the last time i got one was when i was 16..

The simplest things he does brings a smile to my face and makes me feel very loved and warm..The more i see him, the more i feel my heart racing when i look at his face..into his eyes..I feel myself getting drawn to him and i cant seem to stop it..

I never knew about happiness,
I didnt think that dreams would come true,
I didnt believe in love
Until I finally met you

Thanks for this lovely poem sweetheart.. You make me feel special and u complete my life..

Things seem to be getting better now.. My family is shifting to my aunt's place and we are most welcome to stay there as long as we want to till we get a new house..I feel much closer to my family now as we are all sticking together to get thru with this.. Raj makes me feel so loved that i feel so gifted... Have a few but wonderful frens..what more can i ask for?

2008-11-11T00:45:00.007+08:00

Things are starting to seem much better now for some reason.. The hse hunting is still going on without much success.. looks like i have to shift to my Uncle's place which is right beside my block..It like even though i know that i dont have a roof under my head, my family is still sticking together, strongly and that makes me feel better, hoping that things would turn out for the best..

Have started to work on my project which is due on Jan.. Im gonna give my best for this assignment..

And my new added resolution is im never touching alcohol ever again in this lifetime.. had a very bad experience with that jus 2 days ago... even though i wished i could go back in time and never drank or never behaved that way.. somehow the fact that my frens were there for me..worrying abt me.. and the fact that Raj took care of me so well made me feel so lucky that i have such special people in my life..

I didnt expect to find love with Raj.. he is someone very sweet and after that day, i know that he can take care of me..

Am not sure of many things in my life right now.. but somehow i know that i will get thru all this..

2008-11-11T00:45:00.006+08:00

Today was a very fun day..met up wif Raj and we went to Bugis.. he got himself a white long sleeve shirt which was my selection.. i got myself 3 pairs of earrings.. ok i shld seriously stop spending..im in the process of becoming broke..After that we made our way to RP to meet up wif Haruna, Rosey and Shaktee..He wasnt really talking much to them i guess its cos of the whole first time thing.. But i cld see that they were able to get along and seem pretty comfortable wif each other..

After that Raj and I went to Sembawang beach since i desparately wanted to watch stars.. When we got there, the sky was starless much to my disappointment.. In the end, we jus sat there and talked and left arnd 9 plus..

I feel like a much happier person now for some reason.. Wif Raj i can jus be myself..clumsy..annoying..funny..i can be who i am without thinking abt wad he thinks abt me..

Meanwhile have started packing my stuff finally, will be shifting out in 2 wks time.. as the day passes and new yr approaches, am really hoping that things wld turn out well..

Am meeting Raj for movie on Sat.. we are planning to watch madagascar 2..cant wait..

Mixed emotions

2008-10-29T18:16:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was a very long and tiring day for me..morning i accompanied my parents to the CPF buliding..there was a hot malay guy serving us and i was making a fool out of myself in front of him.. and my dad called me a cuckoo infront of him..so embarrasing la.. haha but then again..this is not new for me...getting embarrassed in front of guys..hahahaha

After that i went to meet Sinna.. he was looking so sleepy..he only came back today morning after roaming around little india with his frens.. After spending abt 1 hour plus with him, i rushed to rosey's place...i missed her so much.. Nasri, Cs, shaktee and my darling haruna was there as well.. we had so much of fun.. we played card games and there was also entertainment frm CS, shaktee and rosey.. who apparently did pole dancing for us using the curtain ribbon..hahaha.. and i was being the videographer recording the dance..

Following that, i and shaktee made our way to haruna's place..we were there for about an hour.. i was updating Mahesan, haru's elder bro, on my love life issues.

Im going with the flow now.. but sometimes i wonder, for how long more am i suppose to go with the flow..?

2008-10-26T07:48:00.002+08:00

Today was a very stressful day for me.. everyone in my life is officially stressing me... my family.. my ex.. sinna.. and my fren...

My parents are planning to shift to a rental hse for the time being while waiting for the hse loan to be approved.. Meanwhile me and my sis will go stay in my aunt's place.. i cant believe this is happening.. I wonder why the fcuking loan is taking this long to be approved.. I really want my own home.. My mum cant stay wit out seeing me face for a few days.. i wonder how she is gonna stay wif my dad alone, apart frm me and my sister.. and i dun noe how im gonna stay apart frm my parents for so long also.. this really sucks.. i dun noe who to blame for this situation..

Letchu msged me yesterday night asking me if i had forgotten him.. like wad the hell? i msg u a couple of times and u dun respond and end up u ask me like this? I treated u like my own brother and end up u point finger at me and say that i have forgotten u and i dun treat u like u are important to me?

That fcuker msged me asking if i had transferred money to his acc.. i transferred twenty bucks in his acc yesterday.. he told me to pay him back everything and that its my fate.. then i told him that ya its my fate for meeting such a guy like u.. he then started calling me names and said that im cheap and all.. and told all his relatives wad i did.. Honestly i dun give a fcuk abt wad he or his family or relatives think abt me..I know that i didnt do anything wrong and i know that he told everyone wad i did and not wad he did.. cos he is a big time fcuker.. fuckers behave like this.. i jus wish that he wld jus die soon.. i know that u shldnt curse someone and all but personally i feel that he doesnt deserve to live tat all.. he is jus taking up the earth's space..given his size..hahahahahaha

Y must it always be me doing this and that for people? Its not that im complaining and all but jus that i feel that i always give and do my best for everyone and they dun seem to appreciate it.. end up they suddenly turn around and point fingers at me and say that its my fault and that i neva do this and neva do that..

While i was feeling so sucky and shitty about everything in my life, haruna invited me to her aunt's house prayers.. I felt so much better after that.. Her family is so nice and warm.. Haruna's mum referred to me as her adopted daughter cos they said that i looked like her..haha..her mum is one of the sweetest person i have ever seen.. she fed me some food while feeding Haruna also.. It felt really nice when someone else shows u so much of love and attention when u need it..and i got invited to her hse on Deepavali day itself.. Haruna's aunt also invited me to her hse..

I cant believe Deepavali is jus 2 days away.. it doesnt feel like Deepavali at all.. I feel that there is absolutely nothing happy in my life right now worth celebrating.. The only time im happy is when im wif my frens Haruna, siva and rosey.. they neva fail to make my day.. Thanks guys..!

2008-10-21T04:43:00.002+08:00

Sivashankar is the CUTEST boy in the whole wide world....

He is the best

And he is soooooooo HOT !!!!

We LOVE YOU Siva !!!!!!!

*** MUACKS ***

2008-10-12T22:18:00.006+08:00

Your friendship is special
Like the flowers that bloom,
Or when a butterfly emerges
From within its cocoon...

You remind me of that butterfly,
Loving and free,
Bright and colorful,
For the world to see...

We will share sunshine and rainbows;
Sometimes, the rain and the snow;
We'll stand together through it,
While the cold winds blow...

When the time is right,
We won't stop to ask "Why?"
Our friendship will take flight
On the wings of a butterfly ...

After so long, im updating my blog..haiz.. so many things have happened this past wk. Its like my life is full of some update weekly..

First was my 21st birthday celebration organised by haruna, rosey, and sivashanker. Haruna and me went temple in the morning. Rosey got a cake for me and she was trying her best to hide it without much success. I noticed it and had to hide my smile and pretend as if i didnt notice it. After that we 3 plus lester went to a thai restaurant to eat and we cut the cake there. The moment was jus so sweet with my best frens being there wif me. Siva couldnt make it on time for lunch but he joined us for the movie house bunny. After the show we went out of vivo to eat the cake. The cake was really good. Haha.. Was expecting sinna bd wishes but i never got it till the end.. Towards the end i started getting depressed and went off to meet letchu, giving haruna and siva some time alone.. After meeting letchu, i came home feeling miserable. My parents were upset that they couldnt give me anything special and seeing their stressed faces made me more depressed and i started crying for everything.. Letchu called me but when he heard me cry he jus slammed the fone on me..

Another major update is that haruna and siva are together!!!! Haha.. am so happy for them both.. they make a very cute couple, complimenting each other. I love them both so much. May god bless them wif all the happiness in the world..

Am feeling kinda lost and upset right now.. so much of mixed emotions in me.. Both siva and letchu are very important to me and i love them both so much.. Im jus so worried that something may happen and our friendship will be affected.. I know siva must be feeling mad wif me and i hope that he doesnt stay angry wif me for long.. I hope he understands that im also feeling very stuck and am doing my best to make the situation right again.. I hope that this incident doesnt leave a scar in our friendship.. I really miss him alot.. I miss him scolding me ponna naiyae.. bitch..haha.. funny la that guy.. he doesnt fail to make me laugh.. I miss u siva shanker..and im sorry..

Falling deeply in love with u and yet i cant help it

2008-09-28T01:13:00.002+08:00

From the moment I wake up
ti'll the time I go to sleep.
Even in my dreams
my love for you runs deep.

It runs deeper than the ocean
It runs deeper than the sea.
Each day that I miss
I will make it up time three.

If it takes my whole life
ti'll the day I pass away.
I'll make sure to keep you happy
each and every day.

When I finally get to see you
your beautiful face aglow.
I'm going to hold you in my arms
and never let you go.

The day I get back home
I won't know what to do.
But one thing I do know
Im falling "Deeply In Love "with you.

Confused

2008-09-26T12:48:00.001+08:00

A confused love is the worst of all loves.

Some days you seem so close
like you stand right before me
But then the next day you seem so far
like each other we can't see,
Each day is like a roller coaster
with my stomach turning upside down
You stand there looking
but yet you don't utter a sound,
I feel so confused and
my heart is being torn at its seams
And every night that I sleep
you seem to linger in my dreams,
Every time I look at you
I forget all my thoughts
And right then and there
it's you that my heart has sought,
Every time I hope
it turns into something bad
So for right now I'll stop thinking
And maybe things won't end up sad.

2008-09-25T00:12:00.002+08:00

I don't know what to feel
Heart is dead
Mind confused
Don't know what to do

Feel sad for many reasons
Money, lust, hatred
Can't handle it all

Eyes crying
Body dying

No sound of hope
Just quiet humming
And distant echoes mourning